''It's a very fun, fun show about my quest to get my own sitcom, about getting a gay family on TV,'' says comedian Judy Gold about her new one-woman show Mommy Queerest. ''And it's also about how my life was influenced by sitcoms.''
The show, now having its world premiere at D.C.'s Theater J, is a surprisingly touching romp through Gold's 47-year history of escapism through the boob tube. Several network executives have passed on her pitches -- even at gay network LOGO, whose executives essentially told Gold her life wasn't sexy enough.
Mommy Queerest serves as Gold's de-facto calling card, proving that the frequent guest star on sitcoms and talk shows across the small-screen spectrum deserves her own show.
For example, did you know Gold could sing? ''Yeah, neither did I,'' she retorts. In the show, she sings mostly familiar tunes from TV. ''Those sitcom theme songs? There's nothing like 'em,'' she says.
Gold last appeared on stage performing 25 Questions for a Jewish Mother, also at Theater J, co-written with Kate Moira Ryan, who also assisted on Mommy Queerest.
A longtime marriage equality activist, Gold is thrilled by D.C.'s recent approval of same-sex marriage. But the New Jersey-reared New Yorker won't be getting hitched to her partner while here. ''I think I should be entitled to get married in the state in which I live,'' she says. The New York legislature has denied that right. So by law, she'll continue as a single mother of two boys.
As for her boys, Gold says all signs point to them growing up straight.
''Yeah, it's kind of depressing," she moans. "Because you know they're going to get married and never fucking visit me in the nursing home. I just want them to pluck my chin hairs. [Instead] I'm going to have a full beard while they're hanging out with their wives.'' -- Doug Rule
Mommy Queerest runs to Jan. 3 at the DCJCC, 1529 16th St. NW. Tickets are $30 to $55. Call 800-494-TIXS or visit boxofficetickets.com.