Hearsay

Temptation at Apex, NGLTF Pool Party, Halo


Published on August 12, 2004, 12:00am | Comments

An incredibly tempting teatime at Apex..
A pool party with fun but without sun...
Halo's smoke-free environs...

Here's an interesting question oddly put: How many times in one weekend can a queen go to the Apex of her crown? Well, manager JoeyO is doing his duty to get you into his at least once, maybe twice, and possibly three times (if you happen to be liquid, lady). Hearsay took JoeyO on the offer twice this past weekend. Friday night's Main Event was as thrilling as ever, a night when DJ Randy "All Nite" White made everyone feel like a dancing queen. Hearsay did the rounds first visiting Dave "Man Enough For Me" Linn, who was on video patrol. Meanwhile, on karaoke control, Gladys "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Kravitz stood proud and let the patrons sing loud (and sometimes even on key). And on pornstar watch, who else -- really who else in this town? -- but Tag "You're It" Adams. Hearsay also saw John “I'm Not Running for President” Anderson, kicking up his steel cha-cha heels. Then, after a long Friday night, Hearsay decided to sleep in Saturday, only to be revived on Sunday by JoeyO's highly caffeinated dance event, Temptation Tea. Hearsay's first sip of this hopefully regular event (rumor is that it will be held monthly) was positively delicious. One extra-special touch: the event marked JoeyO's “coming out” as a club DJ. He spun happy hits right there on the balcony, next to the dance floor, so all to see his adorable mug. A second extra-special touch: being greeted by Kelly “Hollier” Collier, wearing a tux. And what tea party would be complete without a little sugar from hostess Lena "How's This for Advice?" Lett. In a word: tea-rrific!...

Well, it wasn't quite “the hottest pool party in Washington,” as the ad promised, unless you're not referring to the temperature. A few Sundays ago the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force tasked itself to put on a pool party at the Washington Plaza Hotel, but it apparently left the sun at its Los Angeles headquarters. It did bring a little bit of fun, however. And for a good cause, raising money for the Task Force's tireless quest to bring truth, liberty and justice for all to the homosexual world, not to mention fabulous cutaway boxer-briefs. Heat was provided by the patrons who took the plunge and arrived half-naked (well, it was a pool party, after all). Hearsay glad-handed Brad “Team Crew Club” Taylor  and Miles “Nationally Certified” Branch, who, like everybody else at the event, massaged  his liver, rubbing it down with pastel-colored drinks like the bright blue Hypnotiq on the rocks that also turned out to be Eric “Takes a Lickin' And Keeps on Tickin' Muhl's rocket fuel of choice.

But won't anybody eat something? A waitress was there, ready and willing to dole out classic cuisine. She waited alright. Waited and waited and waited for someone -- anyone -- to order chicken wings or beef balls or tuna eyes. Hearsay tried to round up some patrons for the pretty waitron. Say, Michael “If You're Happy and You Know It” Snowdon, wouldn't you like to order some halibut tail? No? Really? Okay, how ‘bout you Sean “Daddy” Eagler, won't you have some pig parts? No? Okay, how about some deer rear for your partner, beatmaker heatshaker Rob “Shakin' Tail Feather” Harris, DC's most prolific DJ. Try it, Rob, it tastes just like chicken…

Hearsay needs to clear the air about something. No, not that -- you'll never get Hearsay to tell about the time it witnessed firsthand a certain gay politico nearly ass-phyxiating everyone in a crowded politico elevator. Hearsay can keep a secret. Just ask anyone. But the air Hearsay needs to clear is of the smoky variety. As everyone knows, cigarettes are the work of the devil. And they're the ultimate gateway drug to the gay way, too, promoting an oral fixation that can only be resolved by putting dirty, filthy things in your mouth never intended by God to be used for said purpose. But Hearsay was stunned to learn that Halo on P Street decided only one night after opening to go "smoke free." This is no longer news, of course, but Hearsay has space to fill, so it might as well rant about the fact that it's not allowed to smoke in a new swanky bar that seems perfect for lighting up and inhaling all manner of toxins into one's lungs. Hearsay tried to sneak one in, to see if anyone would notice. They noticed. It's amazing how much smoke one tiny little innocent cancer stick can produce. Within moments, Hearsay was (politely) shown the front door, outside which stood two makeshift ashtrays -- buckets with sand, really -- where Hearsay huddled with the similarly addicted puffing away. (The good news is, Hearsay and the other nic-fitters didn't have to wait in line to get back in, an official Halo smoker-friendly policy.) With its lungs sated and its butt stamped out, Hearsay went back in for a drink and located bartender Brad “Sub” Urban, who was more than happy to comply. Brad informed Hearsay that he had just moved back from a half-year stint in New York -- and hated it there. Couldn't wait to get back to Washington. So naturally Hearsay ordered a round of Big Apple Shots to celebrate. Halo's opening a few weeks ago had been billed as “soft,” but then promoters Ed “Gillette Foamy” Bailey and John “Edge Gel” Guggenmos reconsidered, on account that no self-respecting gay man wants anything soft. So they opened their long space, and opened it wide. So wide that Jeff “Here's To You” Robinson fell in. As did his friend Brett “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” Mannes. As well as several other curious nightlife regulars. The best thing about getting to report Halo's opening -- at least Hearsay isn't reporting another gay bar closing (not that Hearsay misses Mr. P's in the least)…


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