Week of March 20, 2003

Published on March 20, 2003, 12:00am | Comments

Hearsay uncovers some really big news…
What's a giant spleen got to do with it?…
Sunday events galore in DC and Baltimore…

Hearsay got word the other day that there's possibly something very interesting transpiring on P Street. Hearsay did a little digging and verified the facts, but its editors have put a clamp over Hearsay's big yapping maw until further verification could be obtained. Hearsay wonders what might happen if it just blurted the big secret out, like this -- RUMOR HAS IT [Hello, we're Hearsay's editors and seeing that Hearsay continues to exhibit any lack of control whatsoever, we shall exercise it for Hearsay. Call it censorship if you like, we prefer to call it prudent.] SOLD! There. Now you know all!

Hearsay finally located that scrap of paper with the name of James Decker's boyfriend on it -- James Decker, who, by the way, works for the Human Rights Campaign, a place where Wayne “I Got Me A Book Deal!” Besen no longer works. Anyway, that boyfriend's name is [Hearsay's Editors here again. In this case, we're not censoring Hearsay. We're just being annoying.] and he's a really terrific guy, or so Hearsay hears.

Spring has started to sproing all over the place. Hearsay knows this because its eyes are itchy, its nose is runny, and and its wallet has been emptied out because Claritin-D costs a goddamn fortune now that it's over the counter. But with the warmer weather, out come the boys (and some girls). And Hearsay likes the boys. In fact, Hearsay was considering placing a Gaydar in this very paper after spotting the most luscious lad imaginable at VelvetNation's recent Spring Fling, when Hearsay realized it could simply Gaydar the young man from its pulpit here on page 66. (You, however, can turn to page 75 and learn all about Gaydar-ing, among other Personals-related matters.) Now that Hearsay's gotten that Shameless Plug out of the way, here are a few more items of interest: Next Wednesday, the Eagle plans to continue its new tradition of Dyke Night with a blast o' beer and a reading of the Big Shaggy Verginie Monologues by The Mautner Project's Dathleen MaBold and Degan Muffy. Rumor has it MaBold and Muffy will go on tour with the project, which was penned by the world famous lesbian porn avenger, Pike, along with a giant plastic crawl-through spleen. “More people need to understand what the spleen does,” MaBold told Hearsay. “It's one of those secret secreting organs. Anyway, back to the boy from Velvet. You're blond, you're 21 but look 18, you have a rock hard chest, you were dancing with a queen, and you seemed like, well, a real, down-to-earthy kind of pot of yummy hunny. Just like the kind Pooh Bear sticks his fingers into. Wanna be Hearsay's Piglet? Email Hearsay at Hearsay@metroweekly.com as soon as you read this.

In other news, Hearsay is making plans to head up to Baltimore on Sunday, March 30 for the Purple Passion Sunday Tea at the Hippo. The doors open at 7 p.m., after which they stay open. Isn't that a neat trick? And if you wear purple, $3 will be stripped from the general admission price. How's that for a deal? For more info call 410-547-0069… This Sunday, however, Hearsay will be up till the wee hours -- 5 a.m. to be exact -- to check out the increasingly popular afterhours dance-a-thon, Sunday Mass. Presided over by DJ Blaine “Soilme” Soileau, the event can be found at the club Between Friends, at 1115A U Street NW. This week's party is a Cherry 8 kickoff, to boot! For more information, visit www.sundaymassdc.com…  And finally, Hearsay has plans to wrap up its Sunday at Chaos for Mr. Gay D.C. USA Pageant at 10 p.m. Hosted by Xavier Bloomingdale, the evening will feature appearances from (take a deep breath now) Mr. Gay N.C. USA Raphael Matthews, Mr. Gay D.C. USA Ray Matthews, Mr. Gay USA at Large 2002 Tim Allen, Mr. Gay USA 2001 Antonio Edwards, and special guest Mr. Gay USA 2002 Kyle Ean. Is that enough Mr. Gay USAs for you?

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