Hearsay

Cobalt, JR's and MAL's Leather Weekend


Published on January 8, 2004, 12:00am | Comments

Out and about and all over the place during New Year week...
A pre-pre-leather weekend sampling of manly men...
Birthday wishes to a 33-year-old Hot Snoddy...

Fuggedah ‘bout New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. With the holiday falling smack dab in the middle of the week, did any Washingtonian nine-to-fivers bother to go to work? Not just working for the affections of a visiting New Yorker, as was the case with one high-and-tight military man Hearsay knows. Or for one's first kiss of the New Year from the hottest of one's acquaintances, as nearly every single gay male must have done. Or for perfectly mixed drinks from Cobalt's pin-up boy Nate “Fab Abs” Miller. No, did anyone really work, as in cube-land squaresville? Hellooooo. It's a question Hearsay asks any school night it goes out when the crowd is jumpin' and bumpin' and rumpin'. Of course, it's Hearsay's civic and corporate duty to throw back martinis with lavish abandon (and Hearsay has the pock-marked liver to prove it). Yes, Hearsay goes to bars and gets paid for it. Is there a better job on the planet, Hearsay asks? (Aside from being Matt Damon's personal sphincter.)

Anyway… during the week just passed, surely Don “Abercrombie Pitchman” Kautter wasn't the only one out practically every night from the day after Christmas to the day before the Epiphany. Kautter was seen out on a number of occasions with longtime platonic companion Steve “The Numbers Don't Add Up” Vincent in tow. Hearsay caught up with Kautter the Tuesday before New Year's at Cobalt, where all the happy, shiny people weren't even halfway through their extra-long week of play. DJ Jason “Rolls” Royce turned out his usual bag of back tracks, creating the night's Solid Gold retro vibe. Which he then repeated the very next night, for the special Disco Ball 2004. Hearsay couldn't make it both nights -- more than one retro night a week and Hearsay enters a Time Paradox worthy of the best Reset-Button Star Treks. But at least on Tuesday, Royce ended the night with Donna Summer's “Last Dance,” which managed to make Hearsay all misty eyed, longing for its college days and the touch of a “straight” frat boy with a rippled tummy and a tiny, little yet astonishingly effective pecker. Thanks, Jason, for all those wonderful memories.

JR.'s played host to several regulars, including Jon “Bacardi & Coke with an Eastern Twist” Rowley, P.J. “A Name to Remember” Studevent and John “Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe” McKinnon. Why, Hearsay even saw Fabrice “That's French for Fabric Spray” Houdart, who had previously announced his early retirement from the nightlife scene. Hearsay's thrilled to report that Fabrice is back with a vengeance! Brian “Newly Single and Lovin' It” Damron made his way to Apex for the always dazzling Friday night danceflights. More importantly, though, some shirtless souls ventured to Apex on Thursday for Lena Lett's Best Body Part Contest, after hitting the Green Lantern's shirtless drinkathon. And just what is Lena's Best Body Part? Hearsay's not telling, but it encourages its faithless readers to sneak a peek under Lena's skirt if they're really dying to know…

With MAL's Leather Weekend on the horizon -- can it have really been a year since Hearsay's last encounter with the Future Farmers of America, one that left Hearsay with a newfound respect for an ear of corn -- Hearsay thought it might be a good idea to stop by the city's known leather haunts last weekend and get in the mood for wearing cow (excuse Hearsay while it stands on U street, where it will patiently await a splash of scarlet paint from PETA's Dan “If I Could Talk to the Animals” Mathews). First stop: Green Lantern, where the mix of bears and butchies made Hearsay feel all warm and fuzzy, like a hibernating Burly Man Trucker Fucker Bear (a new breed, known only to the Rest Stops of Southern Maryland). Next stop, the titanic Titan, which Hearsay is happy to report has found enormous success in the field of open mike comedy. Ten, a newcomer in the Parade of Places Appealing to Leather, has got its eye on the dance crowd. Which makes sense, as it's located in the space once occupied by the mythic Pier, where ‘70s gay men gallivanted and galloped into each other's hearts and, well, quite honestly, butts. Hey, it was a different era, okay? Final stop of our Living With Leather tour: the always-soaring D.C. Eagle, which still fills Hearsay with a sense of mmm-mmm leathery goodness. Hearsay tossed back a foamy brew, played a game of pool (which it promptly lost, as usual, when it missed the break), and settled in with those manly men who make Hearsay's heart go thumpa-thumpa-thump and its ruby-encrusted cockring constrict. Ouch…

Hearsay's Birthday Bonanza wishes Terry “Special Ingredient” Snoddy a very happy 33. Terry, who has a secret thing for Martha Stewart, enjoys hunting his own wabbits and then eating them with a mixture of freshly picked field greens. If you have someone you'd like to have Hearsay embarrass with a birthday wish, visit www.metroweekly.com and use the new Hearsay e-mail submission tool (which, incidentally, has nothing to do with leather)…


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