Hearsay

New gay lounge coming to DC, and lots more


Published on March 25, 2004, 12:00am | Comments

Gay Washington gets its very own Halo…
Bagels, shamrocks and pots o' gold…
Unnatural blonde ambition…

Recently Hearsay took a trip to Lovely Lena's Empire Video on P Street in search of a little Hollywood, a lot of Ali's wood and a nod of Bobby's wood. And in short order, Tommy would, Jimmy could, Stacey should and Mikey did. But as they were breaking and entering Hearsay found Lena Lett-ing herself go. She's been surrounded on all sides by construction crews for years now, and finally she just threw up the White Gucci Bag and surrendered. Sort of. Someone's getting on top of the ol' not-a-lady lass. But who? And more importantly, why? Because, Ed "Basketball Jones" Bailey says Washington is in need of “a very cool, very simple lounge, like Helix or Rouge for a gay audience.” That's why. He's talking about his coming chaise lounge at chez Lena. Bailey, along with business partner Jon “The Tracks of My Tears” Guggenmos, will open just such a lounge by May 1. Of course, instead of being inside of a trendy boutique hotel, it's inside of -- or rather, above -- a video rental shop that caters to a discriminating adult market. And ye hear this: This is fabu news for our queer little town. Blended drinks -- and smoothies! -- are scheduled to be on the menu at Bailey's seven-nights-a-week lounge. Along with your regular Tom Collins and Pink Lady and Mary Pickford and Harvey Wallbanger and a hundred or so of your friends and neighbors, crowding into the intimate but “high-end designed” space. Bailey describes it best by what it will not be. “It will not feature DJs. It will not have a dance floor. It will not be an after-hours club." And then Ed proffered a list of No's that almost -- almost -- made him sound like a politician. "No cover, no dress code, no attitude, no bingo, no karaoke, no Family Feud, no theme nights, no crazy drunk people, no frisky, flirty gay boys.” Okay, Ed, thanks, Hearsay gets the point.

     As for the name of this new establishment, Bailey says, "We had been trying to come up with a name that incorporated l-o for Logan Circle." But Welo (for West of Logan) just didn't sound right. So Ed dumped the W for an H and the e for an a and the result was: Halo, which, by the way, should not be confused with the video game in which you are an intergalactic marine on a bust-up-some-serious-alien-ass mission. Instead, Bailey is thinking of a different kind of Halo. "It's a place for good boys.” What about bad boys? Bailey, bless him, didn't have an answer. What a wonderful life he must lead, Hearsay thought. Maybe bad boys could go there, too, Hearsay wondered. And these bad boys would have to earn their halos. And maybe a pair of wings, to boot. Or boots with little wings! Like The Flash! Forget Flash! How about Wonder Woman's ensemble. That always looked good on the very baddest of boys…

Last weekend many nightlife haunts around town were a bit spartan. Why? The weather was a bit chilly for the first day of Spring last Saturday, to be exact. But that's never kept the hot-blooded away before. The reason, according to anonymous but well-positioned sources, was New York's leather and leather-lite circuit event, the Black Party. Who knew it was such a draw for Washingtonians? Guess Hearsay'll just have to check it out next year and report back. Anyway, the Big Apple can keep its dirty Black Party, Hearsay will take Washington's perpetual cherry. It's only a month away before Cherry 9, yet already the buzz is beginning. And this Sunday, March 28, at Dream, join the Cherry organizers for a Tea Dance and Final Host Party where you can get info on the big event and purchase your host past. For more information, visit www.cherryfund.org or find Aron "Cherry Flavored" Wilson, kneel before him, and ask of him the proper path to Cherry salavation…

Before the cherries get pricked, the pricks got tipped last weekend. As in tipsy. Ah, the luck o' the Irish! And the matzoballs o' the Jews! Come away with us laddies, for the first ever St. Patrick Goldberg Day. Ne'er heard o' Goldilocks? Well, by day, his name is Ed “Gefilte Guinness” Carp. Carp raised a toast to “Ireland's greatest and most frugal saint,” who Carp went on to explain was half-Irish (that would be ma) and half-Jewish (that would be da), making him either the luckiest unlucky man or the unluckiest lucky man ever to grace God's big green earth. Carp celebrated Saint Goldberg last Saturday at his home, Temple Beth El Beer, along with his boyfriend Mike “Pot o' Gold” Espina and dozens and dozens and dozens of friends, who feasted on with a family secret smear of potatoes, horseradish and corned beef on green bagels and greeted each other by donning their yarmulkes, firmly grabbing ahold of their lucky charms, and shouting, until their lungs bled, “O'Shalom, O'Shalom, let's go find ourselves a lepre-Cohen!"…

And exactly one week prior, Andrew “Salty Balls” Peak opened the door on his surprise 30th Birthday gathering with a gay porn video in hand, a loaner to his friends and party hosts, Martin “Minimalist” Moeller and Steve “Maximilli” Dickens. Clearly, this was a surprise all around. His boyfriend John “Sweet Tea” McKinnon invited all of Peak's friends. The porn was a surprise surprise guest, but not much of a surprise to those who know Peak, those who know Peak inform Hearsay. The porn wasn't actually played at the party, Hearsay was also informed. Good thing, too, since Peak's momma and sisters were on hand at the blessed event…

Finally, it wouldn't be a Hearsay of late without a mention of Capital Pride's Robert “Hey Ya” York. This week's adventure in the fabulous life of Mr. York centers on the hullabaloo over the number of blonde entertainers who will be in town over Pride's big weekend, June 12-13, though none of them scheduled specifically for Pride festivities -- at least not yet. None of the mostly unnatural blondes are bigger, however, than Madonna, whose tour, it was announced Monday, will stop at the MCI Center on June 13, the very day, as it happens, of this year's Capital Pride Festival. Will York be able to wrangle any material moment from Carmela Kabbalah? Stay tuned for a future edition of As The York Turns...


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