Truly Yours

Asians only: racism or preference? Well-endowed but not stupid? What is ''gay time?''

by Lena Lett
Published on June 6, 2002, 12:00am | Comments

Truly Yours by Lena Lett

Dear Lena,

I'm white, but I only date Asian men. My friends call me racist. I say it's just personal preference. What do you think?

Asian Admirer

     I envy you. If I could find an Asian man to love, I'd save thousands of dollars in take-out. It's all a matter of personal choice. There are countless factors that drive human attraction. Of course, it's certainly not unheard-of for men to be attracted to Asians for stereotypical, unsavory reasons. But it's just as possible to appreciate Asian men for healthy, respectable reasons. If you like Asians, and you respect what each individual brings to the table in a romance, have at it. Remember: With six you get eggroll!

Dear Lena,

I'm a serious person by nature, but nature also saw fit to give me a physical attribute which makes people not take me seriously. Everyone assumes a guy like me with a big dick must either be stupid or an asshole, or at least must have an attitude problem. It's also assumed that if he's friendly, he's just being patronizing. To top it all off, a total stranger recently told me that he and his friends have always assumed that I'm an escort, the weird logic being that if you have a really big dick, you probably couldn't do anything else but be a prostitute! Don't get me wrong, I love my dick, but these stereotypes are getting to me. And please don't tell me to just get over it.

Hung and Bummed in Dupont

     I must say, I feel your pain. (Or at least I'd sure as hell like to be able to say I could, you urban stallion, you!) Envy is not a pretty thing, especially when it's of the penis variety, and I'd venture to say that's exactly what's driving these negative vibes and silly rumors you're getting from those around you. Rise above these small minds (not to mention other things, I'm sure) and be happy with everything about yourself! Body image is a huge measuring stick, so to speak, in the gay community, and if you allow others to make you feel inadequate, you're buying into that misconception. Love yourself, and let your actions and good attitude shine forth. People worth knowing won't have any trouble seeing the real you.

Dear Lena,

What exactly is "gay time"? I hate being early and waiting around for other guests before anything gets exciting. Please tell me so I never have to come prematurely again.

Capitol Hill Clockwatcher

     If a gay man tells you the party starts at eight o'clock, don't show up even one second sooner. If you're truly early (are you sure you're gay?) you'll do more than just twiddle your thumbs. You could easily stress out the host(s) by barging in on last-minute preparations. Of course, gay men are notorious for floating in as late as they damn well please. You're the one who'll benefit by chatting up the smaller number of people who come on-time. But if you still find yourself feeling frustrated, here's my formula: add twenty minutes to the starting time of any gay event, unless it involves dinner. The doll is not about to be late for a meal.

Truly Yours,


I'm always thrilled to hear about anything on your mind, so write to soon!