Truly Yours

Too early to give gifts? Backing away from barebacking? Can't orally satisfy?

by Lena Lett
Published on June 27, 2002, 12:00am | Comments

Truly Yours by Lena Lett

Dear Lena,

A guy I dated recently was really weirded out when I sent him a gift two-and-a-half weeks into the relationship. He couldn't understand why I'd be doing it. Should I save my money in the future for, say, after the commitment ceremony?

Material Girl

Giving a gift early in a new relationship has been known to push many a skittish queen's panic button. You know the type. He wants to take things slow -- if he's even interested in getting serious at all -- so a material display of affection makes him worry you're more into him than he's into you. When you're interested in someone, the greatest gift you can give is your presence. Now when it comes to presents, don't get me wrong -- diamonds are a girl's a best friend. But when you hand them out like candy, they lose their luster. If, however, you can't break your "sugar daddy" habits entirely and simply must hand out gifts early on, do keep in mind that simple is better.

Dear Lena,

My boyfriend talked me into bareback sex. We've dated for about three months. I no longer feel comfortable with it, and I want to go back to condoms. How do I tell him?

Safety Patrol

You tell him point blank. He felt comfortable enough to ask you to go bareback. You should feel just as comfortable asking him for safer sex. No love is worth dying for, except perhaps the love for chocolate.

Dear Lena,

What size bra do you wear?

Bosom Buddy

Honey, if Victoria can keep a secret, then so should I.

Dear Lena,
I've always considered myself to be pretty good at giving head, but suddenly I'm not so sure. The guy that I'm dating likes it when I spend time down there, but after a while (sometimes until my jaw line has permanently shifted) he finally just pulls me off and then jerks himself off. Within a minute he's cumming. Is there something wrong with me for not being able to make him cum by blowing him, or is there something wrong with him that only his own hand gets him off? Is this a common problem?

Down in the Mouth

You suck! But not necessarily in the bad way you fear. Talk to your man and find out why he cannot cum when you give him head. Maybe he's conditioned himself -- probably unconsciously -- to climax primarily from manual self-stimulation. It's not uncommon, and he needs to open himself up to all the variety there is out there for popping your cork. There are books and videos on the subject that can help you hone your oral skills to meet his specific physical needs. Remember -- you can always be better at it, and no one will complain. When you have done the best job possible, the issue lies with him. Either way, you have become all that you can be (and you didn't even have to join the Army).

Truly Yours,


Summer is the time to be gay and carefree, my little melon balls! If you're having trouble with the carefree part -- hell, even if you can't get the gay part right -- Lena can help. Trust me. Send your questions to