Truly Yours
Am I overly horny? Dating someone you met on the internet? Sex with your roommate?
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Dear Lena,
I’m 18. My boyfriend just turned 36. We have a great relationship and I’m absolutely crazy about him. We are both into trying different things and are very open. I’m very enthusiastic about sex — he’s the only person I’ve ever had an orgasm with. Our sex together is great — but he doesn’t want it as often as I do. I can’t help it — he turns me on. I understand that he’s not in the mood all the time, but I’d like more than once a week. I’ve tried doing it on my own, but it’s just not the same. When I ask him to "give me a hand," he acts like I’m bothering him. He thinks if we have sex too often I’ll get bored with it — and him. I think he’s afraid that I’m so horny I’ll get it from somewhere without him. How do I explain that I don’t just want to have sex, I want to have sex with HIM. I’ve tried to get him in the mood, but the more I try the more it turns him off. Am I overly horny? How can I get him in the mood without being too aggressive? I don’t want to push him away.
–Barely Legal
Ahhh, my young one, do we remember those days?
No, you are not overly horny. You are right where you need to be. Sex is an integral part of any committed relationship, so you should communicate with your lover that this is a need you have. Find out from him what exactly puts him in the mood and use those things as tools when you find yourself in the mood. As for him thinking you will get bored with sex if you have it too often, he’s wrong. Sex done well is like a good piece of jewelry: you never get bored with it! His concern about you seeking sex from another source is, however, valid. When one does not find what one wants at home, one usually goes shopping. Communicate that as well. You deserve to be happy and get what you want out of this relationship — as does he.
Dear Lena,
I’ve met a guy on the internet and he wants to start dating. Should I?
–Confused
Okay people, you need to give me just a little more to work with. The more detail you provide me, the more lovingly accurate advice I can provide you. I see at least a couple of possible scenarios here, which I will endeavor to answer forthwith.
If by "met" you mean that you’ve hooked up with this guy for sex, then you simply have to ask yourself if the sex was good enough and the person interesting enough to warrant getting together for both sexual and non-sexual dates. But remember that it’s one of the sad truths of life that the hottest trick in the world can be a mind-numbing dating experience. Go ahead, meet him at a coffee shop and see if he turns you on out of the sack.
Now, if by "met" you mean that you’ve been chatting with him on-line and now he wants to begin dating, you have a little more work ahead of you. Do you like what you read from this person? Remember, the internet can be a great place to meet people, but it allows for yet one more façade to be erected between us. Only you will know if you should start dating. Hooking up on-line is like ordering from a catalogue — sometimes things like and seem more impressive in the book than they do in person. Make no commitments until you have a chance to take the merchandise for a spin.
Dear Lena,
Okay honey, my problem is that I’ve been fucking my roommate for a long time and I don’t want to do it anymore. What should I do? Help please!
–Eclipse
Goodness, you’re very blunt. So I’ll be blunt as well. You’ve gotten yourself into a fine mess — you have to sit your roommate down and tell him that you want to end the sexual part of your relationship and go back to being plain roommates. Still, you’ve allowed yourself to cross a boundary from which you may not be able to return without hurting someone’s feelings. So the ultimate solution may be that you find a new roommate. In the future, remember nature’s rule: Don’t shit where you plan to eat.
Got a problem in need of a solution? You’ve come to the right place. No problem is too big, too small, too complex, to simplistic for Miss Lena. Email me, my precious little ladybugs, at lena@metroweekly.com.
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