Truly Yours
Is it okay to be a chicken hawk? Large size scares men away?
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Dear Lena,
I’m nearly 40! I haven’t had a relationship for about eight years. Honestly, I’m not really looking for one. I rarely go out. So needless to say, I rarely have sex. I’m very leery of the gay scene because I feel like it’s so driven by sex and drugs. I’m a good-looking guy. My body’s not great, but I’ve seen worse. I am usually able to get my targeted guy on the rare occasion that I do go out. I don’t dress well or fall into too many of the other stereotypes. Except maybe one: "chicken hawk." Unfortunately, I tend to like men 15 to 20 years younger than myself.
I like young guys not only for their bodies but also their fresh sprits and general perspectives on life and the world. They captivate me. Around young men I sometimes feel much younger than I am and other times become alarmed at how much difference the years make.
Sex with younger guys is really enjoyable. I spend all our time in bed pleasing them. When they writhe and squirm with pleasure, that’s all the satisfaction I need. I’m not attracted to children so that’s not my concern. Some people think that this attraction to young men 18 and up is odd, ridiculous, hopeless. I want your opinion and what you think the general consensus is in the community concerning this attraction.
–Caught with Chicken
Honey, if it’s chicken you like, then have at it. Help yourself to two pieces and a biscuit. We are all attracted to something. Let me make it clear: as long as the men are above the age of consent, you are fine. Those who seek pleasure from children have a special spot in Hell reserved for them. What you like is consensual and valid. As for the community, you can expect some looks and laughs but ultimately it’s your happiness — no one else is going to give that to you.
Dear Lena,
I am a large gay male. Now, when I say large, I mean 6’3" and 295 pounds. When I am out at a club, or the mall for that matter, I always see guys I think are really attractive. But when I approach they run like I’m a wildebeast! Why is it that the gay community is so focused on how they look on the outside? My friends know that I’m an incredible person with a great personality. I just don’t look like Brad Pitt. What’s a boy to do?
–Beyonca Pacity
In the gay community, looks are important. Far too often it is how fabulous you look, what you wear, how much money you make, or what you drive. Just remember that what you are looking for is a person with some depth. So the person who seeks the looks, job, money, and so on is swimming in that great big lake called Me — and right there is where she can stay, honey. There are men in the community who want to know you for the person you are, not the outside, but the inside. You do not have to be Brad Pitt. But you do have to be you, so be happy with that. Although it sounds as if you may be reading more into some situations than is actually there.
For example, when I was a larger girl I would wait to board the airplane last because I wanted to see the look of terror on the faces of people as this 400-pound man comes down the aisle, and all of them thinking, "Oh God, please don’t let his seat be next to me!" I rather enjoyed that. But I realized that most of those reactions were in my own head, the same as seeing herds of people running away from you in bars may be in yours. Until a group of people ties you down and calls you Gulliver, put that demon to rest. You stand out — take solace in that.
Truly Yours,
Lena
Got a problem? Miss Lena has the answer. Write her at lena@metroweekly.com, or fill out her handy Truly Yours webform at www.metroweekly.com.
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