Metro Weekly

Horoscope

August 13 - September 6, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: It’s unanimous! There are millions of different ways of being, each having personal value, whether we like/agree with those choices or not. Given that, and since the universe is rubbing our collective nose in it, we may as well get on with accepting ourselves and those around us as equally righteous. To this end, paste a smile on your face and a song in your heart and keep your happy thought near at hand. You’ll be glad you chose alternatives.

Aries: It’s the environment, stupid. No really, if what’s going on around you is unacceptable and interferes with your ability to be the best-of-all-possible yous, then you need to opt out and get on with creating the world that will work for you and not against you. Phone home.

Taurus: Let your indignation do the walking, and you’ll walk alone. Enlist others in your cause using flattery and evidence in equal proportions and you’ll see that you have all the support you need when the time comes. Drop kindness like a hanky to lure the unsuspecting over.

Gemini: Wash your conscience clean with neurolinguistic programming. If you can reframe your thoughts and actions such that you’re not coming at your concerns from a pre-judged point-of-view, you’ll see that you’re not evil and that your behavior is sane and justified alike.

Cancer: You know what you want. Are you cool enough to gamble for it, or will you come right out and ask with your heart on your sleeve? Either way, you’ll want to get with it and get going before your window of opportunity slams shut. You get solutions from an Aquarius.

Leo: Call on your circle of acquaintance to band together and help you imagine your way out of, through, or around your current dilemma. You know some mighty fine thinkers and some stunning doers. With them around you, you’ll have what you want just in time. Be grateful.

Virgo: Who died and made you the cavalry? If you’re going to play John Wayne, won’t you need some accessories? Comfort yourself with a little shopping therapy, then throw yourself back in the trenches and bring everyone’s bacon out of the fire, intact if toasted. Lighten up.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Libra: You’re not one to complain, but you’re still not happy with what your choices have led to. If you have to do penance, do it promptly and sincerely. Give yourself the chance of a life time to be as gracious as you sometimes are good-natured. The slack shall inherit tranquility.

Scorpio: Are you experienced? Would you tell the truth if you weren’t? Will you answer any direct question? Without making it a question in return? See, once you devote less energy to defensive conversational exchange, you can get lots more done in the time you have. Reboot.

Sagittarius: How can you sell yourself so short? You’re terrific and everyone else seems to know it. So quit bemoaning your self-perceived shortcomings, and get on with becoming a more fabulous you. You have an agenda to pursue and the answer is favorable on Tuesday.

Capricorn: The game is heating up. The stakes have been raised. The crowd is getting ugly, and the team is cranky and revving up to downright mean. You have more control over the big picture than you’d like to admit. Get on in there and get your uniform dirty. Take pride.

Aquarius: Wholesome is as wholesome does. Don’t allow yourself to wear a label you don’t want. Correct the matter firmly. Be consistent in your approach and response alike. Once it’s understood that you mean business, the demeanor of the situation shifts dramatically, quickly.

Pisces: You are as you are. Is it fair to ask you to climb outside your bio-zone to live to someone else’s specifications? That’s up to you. If you go willingly, it might be a great learning experience. If you go to be a victim, it’s the same stuff, different cycle. Feel.

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Horoscope

August 24-30, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: Attention to details now can save you several trips to the well of inspiration when you have to wade back through it all to debug the beta. Call yourself ”picky” and the extra time it takes ”good.” You can thank yourself later with your favorite bribe. An internal audit of the soul may reveal deficits of which you were unaware. It’s never to late to add to the process and rebalance the equation. Use your common sense to achieve uncommon results.

Aries: Whose fault is it that the whole thing went out of control and got away from you at an unwary moment? You won’t blame yourself, but that goes without saying. Take the weather into consideration, as well as the time of the month relative to your last paycheck. Build in control.

Taurus: You would if you could, but you’re not really sure that you want to because you’re so used to being overworked and underappreciated by anybody’s measure. So you won’t, and you have a good reason. But what if you forgave, forgot and got on with making it solid?

Gemini: You know yourself best, or certainly would if you could stand that much self-reflection. Will you get in line for a heaping helping of awareness? Or will you hide behind the door and hope they run out before the back of the line gets to the personality buffet? Choose.

Cancer: You’re doing better than you’d thought and you can totally see the silver lining in this particular cloud formation. Give yourself a pat on the back, but don’t upset your rhythm. You don’t want to have to start all over again if you lose your place, do you? Taurus will support.

Leo: Send a message by angel express. You’ve tried all other recognized communication media, and you haven’t felt heard. So do it. Try prayer. What’s the worst that could happen? But do be careful what you decide to pray for. There’s every likelihood you’ll get it in spades.

Virgo: You’re kicking into high gear. This means it’s past time to get your adaptogenic routine back up and running. Ginseng and B’s can be your friends. Get your full omega-oil profile in balance and rev up your metabolism with a fresh work-out. Find a honey at the gym Monday.

Libra: You’d do well to accentuate the positive and ignore the negative. It will streamline your choices and give you more time to ponder the ineffable. Will you rely on your sibling/s to dig you out of the tunnel into which you may fall this weekend? Build, don’t burn, bridges. Chat.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: If you could remember every single wrong done to you through life, you’d never be able to get anything done — you’d be too eaten up with rage. So imagine your life if you let go of every single one of those past hurts. Suddenly you have world enough and time.

Sagittarius: Be as picky as you like. You don’t have to be in a hurry to choose if you don’t want to. There’s no percentage in being in first with your decision — you don’t want to come off as desperate, do you? A piece of lost mail points the way to a solution long abandoned.

Capricorn: Wherever you go, there you’ll want to build and consolidate and order before you proceed. Consequently, don’t be too eager to leave the complex situation behind you and shake the dust of that locale from your shoes. You carry the seeds of yourself within you.

Aquarius: It’s not the way you’d thought it would be. Should you pitch the whole thing as being imperfect vis à vis your expectations? Or could you visualize the perfect context for your present results and attempt to embrace them as a desirable reality? Think it through.

Pisces: You could talk it out with the plants. They would listen to you the way no one else does. But they would never answer back with words. Is that what you want? You’re good with symbol systems, pre- and post-verbal alike. Give yourself credit, recognition will follow.

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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

August 17-23, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: Don’t despair if your assets are bringing diminishing returns. There’s a season for pruning, culling and dead-heading in every aspect of life, including the world of material value. Give your resources a thorough grooming with a fine-toothed comb and a prejudiced eye. You don’t want to carry water for your own goods. Once you’ve found yourself more room to breathe and more resulting available options, keep being choosy regarding what you really want to invest in (and with). Be prepared.

Aries: It’s the season of the discount tents. You’ve wanted one for sometime. It’s not enough to shout out ”gimme shelter” at random intervals; you have to act on your dreams. If you’re good to go, let everyone know so they don’t wonder pointlessly where you’ve gotten.

Taurus: If you can learn to roll with the flow, you’ll be in a state of grace, productivity and satisfaction rarely equaled and never exceeded. Put your shoulder and back into it, you have a dose of libido energy backing you up in everything you undertake. Trust your sense of right.

Gemini: Is life feeling a little bland? Shallow? Hurried? You want more from your outcomes. You’re ready to commit to unconventional choices that may point the way to a sense of both contentment and liberation. If you act the part of miracle-worker convincingly it will be true.

Cancer: Look for the union label and you’ll feel good about what you buy, until you consider union politics, financing and in-fighting. Some cycles are like that. You know that there are layers upon layers of the ripple-effect in play now. Let your imagination direct your heart.

Leo: You can if you want to. You’re the only one stopping yourself if you don’t. Admit your agency in the matter. If it doesn’t please you, then you need to find a different path—or a fresh mirror. ”Objects in mirror are better than they appear,” let them get closer to grasp it.

Virgo: Where is your pride? You’ve got lots to do, and the energy to do it with, this is true. But do you have a reason to push this hard? Do you have a vision of your success? Will you know when you’ve gotten there if you haven’t looked at the map? Call a Scorpio for answers.

Libra: You’re ready to start asking questions and gathering data. You’re ready to look within and face down some of the ogres that live there. You’re primed to continue your journey to wherever it is that you meant to go before you got so distracted this whole summer. Deploy.

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Is it who you know, or is it what you can do? Could the answer include some from column A and column B? You’ll get farther if you can resist the urge to marginalize yourself and walk down the midst of the mainstream. Compromise gives you twice what you wanted.

Sagittarius: You’re not in disgrace again, are you? It might be your fault/responsibility/place. It’s not always subjective, despite the theme of your internal dialogue. Give it up and make what good you can. There’s more forgiveness out there than you give credit for.

Capricorn: Walk that talk and feel better about honoring your values authentically. Do what you have to do—as long as it’s also what you want to do. You’re entitled to be selfish from time to time, and this is one of those times. Let the fur and the words fly on Friday. Create.

Aquarius: Get with the program, as long as it’s a program that you’ve designed for yourself. You can concretize your ideals, but you’ll have to get planning permission and a host of other bureaucratic hoops jumped through before you can rest on your laurels and call it good.

Pisces: Are you your brother’s keeper? You could be, if you trusted yourself and encouraged others to trust you. Will you go on holding back, or will you empty yourself of generous impulses in the name of cleaning up your conscious? Closing time waits for no shopper.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

August 10-16, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: In the dark? Open your eyes. Lost? Get the map from the glove compartment. Confused? Talk out your issues with yourself. There’s interplay between self-sufficiency and dependence. Take responsibility for securing your position without losing your connection to your desired goals and outcomes. You’ll be gathering up the harvest of what you create now before the week is out. If you invest your time and energy wisely, you’ll be ready to rejoice and share beyond your prior imaginings.

Aries: It’s the devil you know versus the desires you still harbor. Turn to your circle of friends to gain the perspective you need to get the job done and manage your integrity with realism. Let your hopes soar, as you have the potential to make your fondest dreams true. Rewrite.

Taurus: It’s still not too late, but you can’t delay for much longer. Get off the dime and get busy hunting down the bluebird of happiness. If it’s not in your own backyard, be careful who you trust with your quest. Ask your boss for the help you deserve. Speak up on Saturday.

Gemini: Goliath had every advantage, saving faith and unerring aim. You won’t need more than that to get from A to B on your task list. If you act now, you might get as far as G. Work to your greatest efficiency so that you’re free to play when serendipity comes knocking. Run.

Cancer: You can’t always get what you want, but you can get what you need if you’re strong enough to ask. Your partner is the key to the next few steps, whether as an obstacle or an aid may depend entirely on you. Give yourself an edge by practicing random kindnesses.

Leo: It’s your spine — will you let it curve under the burden, or will you stand up to meet the challenge head-on? You’ve got the power and the focus to make of your opportunities what you will. Are you ready to rock your life? Are you gambling on good-fortune? Be courageous.

Virgo: You’re hearing the wake-up call, and the message is clear: To be productive you’ll have to take the best possible care of yourself. Use your best-practices roster to get the most for your inputs. Get supplements, bodywork, aromatherapy and the best footwear you can find.

Libra: It is that easy, so why don’t you go for it? There’s no one judging you except yourself. It doesn’t matter what others think or say this one time. In fact, no one needs to know but you. It can be your own little secret. Guess your weight correctly and win a resolution to exercise!

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: You’ve been there and done that, now you can pen the memoirs and end up on Oprah. But wouldn’t that leave a bruised and bleeding trail of wounded psyches behind you? Resist your urge to rise to the top at the expense of those you hold dear. Practice moderation

Sagittarius: It’s so not about what you have; it’s all about what you do with it. You can set any goal, and reach it too. It’s the times we live in, but they won’t last forever. Let go of procrastination for the present (or at least tomorrow). Call Pisces for emotional support

Capricorn: Live and let live might be your motto, or you might be fed up with that laissez-faire attitude. If you can’t resist interfering, choose your strategies carefully and pick your battles with an eye to minimal confrontation. You’ve got a technique worth envying. Lead a seminar.

Aquarius: You’re clever and you even display to advantage this time of year. Use your boost in charisma to leverage your next few steps. You’ll find that charm can get you what months of logical persuasion didn’t. Consider the lilies of the field, they never did much but look good.

Pisces: You’re all that and you don’t believe it. Too bad you’re falling down on this matter of faith. Maybe you should reassess your stock of hope and love, since you’re low on the third leg. What changes do you need to make to maximize your intangible resources? Meditate.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Horoscope

August 3 - 9, 2006

Heavenly Round-Up: It’s a time for missing the bus you meant to catch, and finding money on the one you do. It’s a time for running up your minutes when you connect with an old crony. It’s a time for learning the hard way what tasks remain before you’re representing authentically. Look for the silver lining in every cloud that shades your path. Let the heat guide you to greater activity and productivity in the cooler evenings and nights.

Aries: It’s more like shooting fish in a barrel than a crap shoot. For once your intuition is in sync with manifest reality. You can get what you’re willing to go after, if you can harness all that magnificent libido in the name of your goal. Skip patience, go with your charisma.

Taurus: You’re languorous, and it looks good on you. Don’t hurry, since you don’t have anywhere you meant to be. If you can coast, do. If you can’t, then get in early and stay a little longer so that you can take enough time not to have to break a sweat. Wear pink for cheer.

Gemini: You know your way through the labyrinth, forward and backward. Don’t let any flash of insight get in the way of the plans you’ve already made. Second thoughts will bring only third and fourth-round reconsiderations. Get on the dime, on the ball and on the bus Monday.

Cancer: Rewind your point of view, and try to play the whole sequence through from the most difficult perspective. You’ll find yourself rewarded with both empathy and a solution where none existed previously. If you can walk the talk, you’ll have everyone on your side.

Leo: You’re golden, and you know it. Don’t waste your time with humility; it won’t serve your ends. Shine for all you’re worth, the herd will follow without a bleat. Use the force for good and you’ll have satisfaction keeping you warm all the way through the winter. Ask a Scorpio.

Virgo: Sentience aside, you’ve been relying on sentiment to guide you in your journey. You could get farther with less effort if you made a shift to a more objective course of trajectory. Get a buddy to help you sort through the chaos. Ask an older person to shine a light for you.

Libra: If it’s not what you think, then what could it be? You’re in the throes of a burgeoning attraction — to the likes of which you’re usually immune. This fascination has many facets. Will you take the time to view them all, or will you rationally chuck the whole for the parts?

Zodiac Calendar

CAPRICORN
Dec 22-Jan 20

AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19

PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20

ARIES
Mar 21-Apr 20

TAURUS
Apr 21-May 21

GEMINI
May 22-Jun 21

CANCER
Jun 22-Jul 22

LEO
Jul 23-Aug 23

VIRGO
Aug 24-Sep 22

LIBRA
Sep 23-Oct 23

SCORPIO
Oct 24-Nov 22

SAGITTARIUS
Nov 23-Dec 21

Scorpio: Time is on your side. As long as you don’t have to be anywhere in particular, you can get anywhere you really need to be eventually. Resist the urge to pump up the pressure. You wouldn’t like what might happen in the crucible of nature. Relax with an exfoliation.

Sagittarius: You’re filled with wonder, good intentions and inspiration at a record rate. Yet you can understand there’s a lot of work between your ideal and its reality. This may be a first for you, mark the calendar. Once you get done celebrating, get yourself into training.

Capricorn: Where have you already been? Do you need to tread the path again, or is there somewhere further you could go to prove your own admirable growth and sturdy infrastructure? You have the capability, but can you gather up the will? Seek out a Pisces.

Aquarius: You’re calling the shots. Isn’t that what you’d wanted? Now that you’re in charge, you’ll have to spend some time working out how to make the joy of the transition real to others. Bring your cool-but-friendly nature to the negotiating table, and you’ll find a place.

Pisces: If you can’t stand the heat, take scuba lessons. You’ll find relief from the scrutiny wherever there’s good, deep water. Go spelunking in your heart-of-hearts to find out how long you’ll have to keep your head down to keep your emotions intact. Sleep late Friday.

Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!