Horoscope
January 31-Feb 6, 2008
Heavenly Round Up: It’s not the temperature, so it must be the time. There’s something different. It’s all around you. It’s in the air you breathe. It’s there when you go to church, when you watch TV. It surrounds and interpenetrates everything. This profound, yet delicate shift promises a chance for all to become more aware of the resources in use, of the energy expended so we can go about our daily business. Choose your mode of operation with an eye to its sustainability. Choose your ambitions likewise.
Aries: No, that’s not what you really look like. That was an unflattering angle and an awkward position. You might, however, want to keep in mind that such of view of your person and your persona is possible. Flatter yourself with something in rose. Or something cloisonné.
Taurus: Give yourself two thumbs up for being more adjustable than anyone had imagined. Give yourself a pat on the back for being able to meet the challenge and make the cut whilst holding on to your integrity. Give yourself a moment to catch your breath before it gets hard.
Gemini: Watch your step. The ground is shifting under you, and all around you the landscape is morphing to meet those permutations. It’s like moving in to the fun house. Don’t believe everything those mirrors tell you about yourself. Some of it’s true, some is a distortion. Write.
Cancer: Definitions can bring out the minute flaws that others may have glossed over in their desire to get on with getting on. It will take your not-inconsiderable managing skills to make certain that all are on the firm ground required before proceeding. Take a break on Tuesday.
Leo: Let the chips fall where they may, this time. If you don’t seem hyper-controlling about this mess, you’ll win long-term sieges with what seems like a flick of the wrist. You can afford a little noblesse oblige. You’re still ahead and the bogeyman isn’t gaining on you. Wear gold.
Virgo: Is morphology destiny? Sounds like an abstract question, purely theoretical–right? Well, there’s a time for theory to become praxis. You’ll be face to face with some of the many implications of that simple query. Get with the program and think through your answer.
Libra: Simplicity might be the key. What would simplification mean? Would you stop multi-tasking? Would you cut back? Would you get more sleep? Would you eat more digestible foods? Would you only wear fabrics that were comfortable and flattering? Define your terms.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You oughtn’t to be in such a hurry. Psych! Really, get the lead out. Get on the ball. Get with the program. Get a fire lit under you. Get it in gear. Get set to represent. If not now, when? If not you, whom? Present intentions inscribe this emerging long-cycle. Start early.
Sagittarius: You have seen the enemy, and it is your own money habits and current financial conditions that are most hampering your achievement of your best of all possible selves. Can you ditch it all and dash away precipitously? Should you? Can you work it out rationally? Plot.
Capricorn: You didn’t used to wonder about your original face before your parents were born, or other obscure koans. You got on with making good enough in a world of trial. Now is the time to infuse your philosophy and daily life with joy — all joy all the time. Wear more yellow.
Aquarius: Hide behind your title. Hide behind your affable, yet reserved demeanor. Hide behind your ability to rationalize your way into and out of any possible scenario. But there’s a new sheriff in town and a number of current practices and tolerated behaviors won’t be.
Pisces: Look deeply into the still waters of your heart. Listen there, and you will find that a deeper, more solemn note has been struck. It reverberates like a brass gong across a still monastery garden. Your vision becomes richer as that sound reaches within and transforms.
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Horoscope
January 24-30, 2008
Heavenly Round Up: Someday your prince will come, but this minute the dear is all confused and riding bang off in the other direction. So put Charming and his like on hold for the nonce. The epoch is changing and you can have a front-row seat to the ceremony, if you only take the time to look around. You’ve catered to your ideals for a while, wrestling with angels of philosophy and ethics. Now it’s time to take direction from your ambitions. Manifest your beliefs in system and structure. Use brown.
Aries: Now that you’re back in the frying pan, are you wondering why it looked so attractive? You can catalogue your sins and shortcomings to pass the time, but you might want to get more going on. Break with your own traditions: make a five year and a ten year plan. Really.
Taurus: You’ve been a long time getting as far as you are. And you’re in for a super-charged surprise. The groundwork you laid is coming to fruition. This thing has got momentum. You have the power of the juggernaut, and the ride alone is worth the price of admission. Share.
Gemini: You’ve backed off about as far as you can without falling into the water behind you. Are you ready to reassess? Contrary to your early conclusions, there’s a way forward. Hell, there are a handful of options. You only have to want change enough to make use of them.
Cancer: Tendencies aside, you feel as ready as you’ll ever be to take the step necessary to concretize your dreams come true. You’re prepared to cut and trim and itemize to get the right blend of reality and utopia. Find someone to share the heavy lifting and pass the time.
Leo: Pretend you are a lonely glacial boulder on the Siberian tundra. Pretend you are being shaped by time and weather. Pretend that eons pass in the blink of your stony eye. Even in that situation, lightening can change everything faster than awareness can absorb it. Think.
Virgo: You can see a hundred colors in a handbreadth swatch of bark. You can hear the layered cycles and constituents of your engine running. You can feel each grit and staple in the tread of your shoes. But can you discern and cherish that which is most important of all?
Libra: Is this a behavioral experiment for which you signed up, and then forgot? Is the cosmos messing with you? Actually, no. You’ve only fallen temporarily into an alternate reality comprised of the elements of screwball comedy taking place in real life, in real time. Laugh.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: What can you remember and when will you be ready to face what it means? You’ve played the amnesia game long enough. Get back to basics. Strip away old varnish and veneer. Find out what the underlying components and structure are. You’ll know the answer.
Sagittarius: It’s not easy. It doesn’t have to be. You’d enjoy the challenge as much as any other part of the conditions. Give yourself a break. Assess your assets honestly. Take a long personal inventory and don’t decide until you’ve managed a comprehensive analysis. Breathe.
Capricorn: Time isn’t on your side, but it isn’t against you either. It’s the river you cross and drink from, trade on and power up with. Get into your medium. Reconnect with the flow of that most subtle power. You’ll be better able to harness those ineffable forces after a break.
Aquarius: Don’t jump without looking carefully. Check your blind spot before shifting lanes. Use all precautions and all hazard management technique. You’re so kinetic that unexpected and sudden events are likely to occur all around you. Remember to wear your helmet Monday.
Pisces: It isn’t your turn, but that doesn’t have to stop you. You can jump the line if you like. You have a few special privileges accrued, and now would be the time to call them in and make a good start to a new long cycle. You could ask a Capricorn’s advice while shopping.
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Horoscope
January 17-23, 2008
Heavenly Round Up: You’ve been practicing really hard. You’ve been gearing yourself up. You’ve been reviewing and drilling. But are you ready? Is your heart in it to win it? Are you already a champion? It comes down to application and follow-through. The going has gotten tough, and only the tough will go forward smoothly from here. Don’t despair. Gird your loins and watch that you don’t get hoist by your own petard in the process. Think your way through this one by trusting the thread of logic you’ve found.
Aries: You’ve wrought long and mightily at your inner forge, and become great in the process of devoting yourself to something else. It’s time to shed your visor and resume binocular vision. There’s something out there on which you need to gain personal perspective. Go to it.
Taurus: Is the shape of your destiny like a fruit cake? An industrial complex? A dik-dik? Trace the present to give yourself a presaging of the future. Patterns of complementary completion act as stepping stones leading you towards a greater recognition of your current potential.
Gemini: Blessed are the bleak at heart, for they shall have no where to go but up. Let go of whatever’s grimming you out. Honestly, there’s a way to reframe this — to spin it, if you will — in order to find and exploit the good to the top of your not inconsiderable bent. Go there.
Cancer: Your sympathy has been aroused, but you can’t focus outside yourself long enough to find the most useful course of action to pursue. This pause can either refresh, or enervate you. Accept your limitation, then get busy finding a way around it. You could ask a sibling.
Leo: Send in the clowns. It’s not funny, but slapstick never is in real life. So you slipped up, and it was public. And now your dignity is bruised. And that’s not the end of the world. You might gain a measure of good will for having demonstrated your human frailty. Celebrate.
Virgo: Have you been minding your ‘p’s and ‘q’s like a quaint shepherd of your own business? It’s restful, but now you could do the world a solid and get on with improving all that comes within your purview. Perfection starts at home. Set a good domestic example, then range far.
Libra: It’s more work than you’d bargained for. This comes as no surprise. But you have allies aplenty, if you’ll only take time to recognize them for who they are. Once you’ve charmed the helpful animals, you can get on with winning your heart’s desire without mussing your hair.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Pernicious is as pernicious does. You might re-label it ”stick-to-itiveness” or gritty perseverance and call it all good. You don’t have to hurry to placate those restless natives. It’s a seasonal thing, and has nothing specifically to do with you. Take quality time alone.
Sagittarius: Why are you so weepy all the time? That’s not like you. You tend to be stalwart and full of rousing cheer in a tight spot. Stop fretting, if you can. It’s a phase. You’ll recover from the mopes and be better than ever and more efficient in all that you do. Wear plaid.
Capricorn: It’s not hype this time. In fact, the juggernaut has just rolled into your very own neighborhood, and there’s not a thing you can do about it. Well, that’s not true. You can still always lead, follow or get out of the way. You can jump on, hang back, or even clear a path.
Aquarius: Simplicity, such as you are prone to eulogize probably never did exist. Utopias are neither behind us, nor before us. They exist in non-parallel universes and serve best as our inspiration, rather than our physical patterning. Be exact in your wishing — you might get it.
Pisces: Why don’t you take the full-on approach, and jump with both feet? It will take less time than the tentative, one-toe-at-a-time method. It won’t be uncomfortable for as long. And all that dread and anticipation will be forever dissipated. Oh, right! The fantasy must live.
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Horoscope
January 10 -16, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: It’s a funny thing — what we wish for. It’s funnier when those wishes are granted. It’s funniest of all to watch folks actually live with their dreams and desires over the long term. Laugh at yourself before you settle in to laugh at the foibles of others. There’s a clownish energy running wild in the world, and we’re all much, much more amusing than we can know. Let your dignity ride shotgun and give your sense of humor and cosmic perspective a shot at the driver’s seat. Who knows?
Aries: All that chaos generated by the collision of your competing ideals is great for airing out the hope chest of your expectations, but it raises a lot of dust and questions. If you long for calm resolution, you may have a wait in front of you. Take up Zen archery for tranquility.
Taurus: You’re on a roll now that you’ve got the lay of the land. There’s a rhythm after which you’ve been chasing, now it’s almost within reach. Persist in your quest for right inner timing. You could have your cake and eat it too if you have the patience. Go shopping with standards.
Gemini: You could just wiggle your nose and make a wish, and it might even come true. Or you could it talk it out for the umpteenth time with the last pair of ears in your cohort still willing to listen. Or you could hold still, hold yourself accountable and hold out for happiness.
Cancer: Since when did you want a high-maintenance partnership. Or rather, since when weren’t you the high-maintenance one? Tricky isn’t it? Taking turns happens. You needn’t be cheerful, but no extra points are awarded for creative dourness in the line of duty. Reflect.
Leo: It’s still all in the details, those pesky ever-shifting details. Once you’ve delegated away the lion’s share of the fussy work, you’ll be able to use your considerable imagination to focus in on a new way to see these old issues. You might even cop a fair-sized Eureka for your time.
Virgo: Are they just cowardly? Or could they be seeing you in a new light? You’ve got the respect of all concerned, no question. And you’re on top of your game, this minute. You’re still not perfect, and you still can’t let go of it. But remember to bask in the adulation anyway.
Libra: Your concerns are not imaginary. But they’ve become developed to the point that they’re starting to look like paranoia. So relax a little and take the time to educate yourself in some method of defense that meets the criteria of your issues. Get support from a Pisces.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Are you in disgrace? Or are you only running on empty? What would constitute a means of refueling your soul? Do you need a quick get away? Do you need a quick makeover? Do you need a quick course in perspective, compassion and relaxation? Get to work.
Sagittarius: The suspense is not killing you. Play by the rules, don’t be late, dot your ‘i’s and cross your ‘t’s and everything will be hunky-dory. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s all over but the shouting, and it’s just not about you anymore. Take a deep breath and exhale.
Capricorn: Your momentum seems to be grinding to a halt. You’re afraid to get close enough to see what the source of the problem is. But it won’t get better or go away by being ignored. Get into the mess and give it your best overhaul. You’ll know the truth. Will it set you free?
Aquarius: Heads up, there’s a sea change with your name on it. Something is changing at a nearly imperceptible rate and its effect on your future will be profound. Kudos to those who spot the shift and are proactive enough to catch the wave and ride it all the way in. Go on.
Pisces: As weird as it all is, at least you have interesting company. As alien as you sometimes feel, you’re not alone on this one. You may wonder at your sudden choices. You may wonder where those options suddenly came from. You may wonder where your keys are. It’s okay.
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Horoscope
January 3 - 9, 2007
Heavenly Round Up: Did you end the old year with and bang and/or a whimper? You might have been preparing for the vital shift in perspective required to get with the fresh cycle being played out in your own theater of the soul. Find that which is lovely and appealing and makes you feel as though you are capable of being more than you were. Find your will and yoke it to the way you’re choosing and re-choosing with every step you take. Find something soft and on sale Saturday.
Aries: Is it a long, long trail a-winding, or have you just gotten tired of feeling more like a beast of burden than a noble creature, free and proud? Sometimes it’s harder to reclaim your intended direction than it is to keep plodding. But there go the bitching rights. Wear alpaca.
Taurus: When did you decide to go for it and stop dragging your feet? Have you got any idea how little there will be to do once you get started? If it’s easier than you can suppose, it might have to do with all that planning and research you laid down. Pat yourself on the back.
Gemini: It’s not the Nobel, but it’s still nice to be recognized by those whose opinions matter. It may not be the nod you were looking for, or may end up being less than represented, but it’s undeniably your trophy. Keep the glory in perspective and you won’t be as deflated later.
Cancer: Call it in the air. It’ll land to your demand. You’re lucky; and if you want to be luckier still, focus your attempts to bend probability on the wishes and hopes of others. Playing this form of belated Santa Claus will fill you with purpose, and prolong your collateral lucky streak.
Leo: It may walk, talk and look like a duck — but it might very well be a stalking horse in disguise. You’ll want to exert caution in making decisions regarding this Trojan Duck. You may even want to delegate the full investigation to someone more obsessive than yourself.
Virgo: You’ve seen it all. You’ve been there and done that. And now all that worldly jazz is going to be challenged and turned on its ears by a miracle of no minor order. You have the chops to comprehend the shift in reality as it reforms your fate while you wait. Be aware.
Libra: You’re in position to do yourself a solid, but you’ll have to reach out and take what you want, without waiting politely to get the go ahead first. If you take the initiative, be sure that you have a few of your crew watching your back and keeping all your experiences real.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: It’s not a bird or a plane. You don’t even have a context in which to put the answer, yet. Since there are more things than are dreamt of in your philosophy, you may as well relax and take the full tour. You’ll appreciate what you learn. Get help from a Virgo on Sunday.
Sagittarius: It won’t come out in the wash this time. It’s not your fault, either. Let go of what you can’t control, hold tight to what matters and learn to tell the difference between the two. Calling yourself the King of Prussia doesn’t make it true, but it wouldn’t hurt to act the part.
Capricorn: You’ve suffered through contumely before. But you’re without stain this time, and you can’t prove it. Circumstances may have ganged up on you to demonstrate an alternate reality, one based on unsupported assumptions. Eyeball all your choices openly and fairly.
Aquarius: Persistence could get you home, as it once did Dorothy. Or you could take a shortcut, and start looking around for the magic ”out.” It’s within arms reach of you already. You only have to recognize what the solution to your problem is. Spend Saturday with Aries.
Pisces: Don’t give up the ship. Don’t go down with the ship. Find a non-linear solution to what’s been bugging you, and appreciate that you couldn’t have done it without assistance, both witting and wholly oblivious. Let your light shine on Friday, keep a confidante close by.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
