Horoscope
May 1-7, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: Practicality and sentiment wage war within you. Will you succumb to nostalgia and give it up for the warm fuzzies? Will you harden your heart in the fire of your ambitions and march forward without further considerations? These may be extremes, but they are the choices to which your flesh is heir. In these interesting times, our choices bear complicated price tags. Take the time to read through the fine print before you approach the cash-wrap. Once you’ve made your choice, have it gift-wrapped, in order to share.
Aries: You’ve heard the rumors. You’ve acquainted yourself with the terrain. You’ve scouted the region personally. Do you have the self-command to hold your troops until you’re close enough for a meaningful engagement? Do you have the strategy to control your outcomes?
Taurus: It might be all about you, but if it is your things are the proxy through which you can experience all that may be. Use your hardcore groundedness to hang on to the values you want to carry forward. Use your self-awareness to measure your progress. Wear more blue.
Gemini: You’ve remembered what you’d forgotten. Was it a kiss of enchantment? Did it go both ways? Do you? Where have you been keeping yourself all this time? Asleep in a tower? You may already be a winner, but you’ll have to choose to wake up and take some chances.
Cancer: Walk the talk and you’ll win kudos far and near. You’re ready to do whatever it takes, so long as it doesn’t take compassion or indirect action. You’ve been waiting for so long to get the show on the road. Can you wait another minute, or will you be thrown off schedule?
Leo: Intelligent design is what you look for in upholstery fabric, not in the web of life. You know this, but superstition has a hold on you, and you’re waiting for proof of…. Whatever it is, you know the truth is out there. Convince yourself before you try to convert any others.
Virgo: Persistence and perseverance will see you through. You already know this truth. It bears repeating, as will most of what goes down later in the week. It’s your turn to enjoy the good things in life. Will you make time for yourself? You can’t run like that forever, can you?
Libra: Delightful is as delightful does. You may need to update your definitions and your best practices if you’re hoping to charm the veritable birds from the proverbial trees (or vice versa). Sometimes the best thing to do is leave the situation alone to ripen, like rising bread.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You long for the best. You’ll settle for whatever reality’s pitching. There’s still a choice in there-even if you choose under duress. Don’t sulk, you wanted to be able to make this choice. You just didn’t get to choose when to choose. Rejoice in the alternatives Friday.
Sagittarius: You’ve come under a lot of criticism. Some of it is earned; some of it is more than a little displaced. It might be your happy-go-lucky nature drawing the fire. It might be your devil-may-care attitude towards those recent, fraught events. Find a happy medium soon.
Capricorn: It’s time. You’ve been stuck like a mastodon in ice. Now the great melting is upon you and you’re finally freed to do the next great thing. You’ve got some lost ground to cover, and then you’ll be back up to par and in fighting trim. Let the sky be the limit on Saturday.
Aquarius: You remember some of what happened in icy clarity. Parts of it have slipped away as completely as if they were a dream. What’s relevant here is your memories may not match to the point in question as completely as you might wish. Let others fill in the blanks for you.
Pisces: Watch the tides. Watch the trees. It’s the peak of the season of beginnings. Are you set on the course you’ve chosen? Are you farther now towards your Shangri-La than you’ve ever been? If not, correct your trajectory and adjust your astrolabe. You’ll get there in time.
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Horoscope
April 24-30, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: What do you owe and to whom do you owe it? This question and its allies circle in your head like vultures. Are you delinquent? Are you on time? Are you careful? Are you a spendthrift? It’s all about your resources, and the emotional juju tied to them making them so very particularly yours. Be thorough in your assessments. Ask hard questions with a wide smile. Don’t be in a hurry to get to the bottom of the truth. There’s plenty of material there. Remember.
Aries: You’re all fired up; do you have anywhere to go? You’ll attract attention in that state, no question. Is it going to be the kind of attention that you want, or do you even care? If you apply basic strategy to your concerns, you’ll go farther with less — or go less far with more!
Taurus: Simplicity means different things to different people. Still, it’s time to simplify your life. If that means de-complicating in all kinds of interesting nooks and crannies in your day to day existence, goodie. If you only have one or two trouble spots, bully for you. Think Monday.
Gemini: If the world were your oyster, you must have lost your shucking knife. That’s how it feels, anyway. But really, this is a call to slow down and get deliberate and intentional. There’s only so much of you to go around. You’ll have to make some clear, present choices.
Cancer: It’s a wild world, but you have a grasp of the essentials. It’s a kaleidoscope of ever-evolving miracles, but you have the key to refraction in your grasp. Solve your equations in your sleep — there’s more going on in your subconscious than you can imagine. Reflect deeply.
Leo: It’s your turn to put your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel. It’s been your turn for a while now, but you’re earning your merit badges, making a name for yourself and getting the basics under your belt. Keep on going for the gold — it’s your turn.
Virgo: You’re walking in the light, but carrying a parasol. What are you afraid of? The wicked witch is dead, and you need to turn your attention to the real concerns that still exist in your life. Don’t let outdated conditioning run you: You control the horizontal and the vertical.
Libra: It’s like going to the circus on a windy night. Are you more thrilled by what goes on in the rings, or are you really waiting for a big top disaster? There are many levels of potential engagement here. It’s hard to choose where to focus. Let that be your task for now: Focus!
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You have the technology. You have the management and survival skills you need to get the job done. You may or may not have the support you want, but that’s not the lowest common denominator in your estimation. Go for what you know to be right and good on Friday.
Sagittarius: You don’t have as much to prove as you think you do. You’re good enough, with some to spare. But you may not be as aware of your gifts as you and others imagine. Run the pros and cons of who you are and what you’ve become. Own your daily life intentionally Saturday.
Capricorn: You’ve drained that part of your life to the dregs. You’re at the bottom of the barrel, looking up (hoping you’re not a fish in this dream). But you’re not trapped. You’re safe for now. If your container feels small, start shopping for one to meet your present needs.
Aquarius: Those vivid dreams. You almost don’t want to wake up. You get approval. You get to innovate. You get to be your most authentic self with no editing. If you really want, you can have the whole package as per the dream. You might have to give up something else….
Pisces: Is it so much fun you can’t think of any alternative? Is it so fulfilling you wouldn’t give it up no matter what else you were offered? Don’t paint yourself into a corner with your contentment. There’s more in heaven and earth to delight you than you’ve dreamt of.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
Horoscope
April 17-23, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: Is it now or never? It doesn’t have to be. If you’re feeling a certain pressure, you haven’t accounted for the obvious. There’s a shift in sight, even if it’s not what you might have chosen originally — it’s still an out. Let your life speak and tell the story of your beliefs through your actions. The attention you garner could change the course of history. Are you stalwart enough to be the poster child when what really matters is at stake? Give yourself props for poise and finesse.
Aries: You can struggle, but you’ll only become more deeply entangled in this net of your own weaving. Is this the version of the future for which you’ve yearned? You have time to retrace your tracks and find the path to happily-ever-after. Are you brave enough to change so much.
Taurus: It’s not so much a dance with the devil as a happy hour with his helpers. You can learn a lot through quiet infiltration. You don’t have to go in with guns blazing. Let those mistaken assumptions stand and you could learn a bucket. Choose pink at the cash wrap.
Gemini: Is it winsome and delightful? Will you be taking it home to enrich your perspective? You don’t have to. Seeing it once could be all the impetus you need to make the necessary changes. You have great strategy — sometimes you get so excited you lose track of your ends.
Cancer: You might. And then again, you might not. You’ve been drifting. It’s time to get back on the horse and head off (or on) into the sunset. You have the momentum. Don’t squander it for a twinge of sentimentality. Make those connections and let nature take her course.
Leo: Time and tide are on your side. Your vision is excellent, and you’re seeing farther now than you’ve challenged yourself to look in a long time. Pride may be a sin, but it will help you hold your head up and stick to your guns when the stuff hits the fan on Monday. Be brave.
Virgo: You could walk on and leave the mess to someone else, but that’s not your style. You could get embroiled, deeper than you’d ever imagined — from a simple act of compassion. Are you ready to go so far on principle? Will you want to back away when push comes to shove?
Libra: You’re not as confused as you seem, but you have to do the thinking for a number of others. You have the chops to get through this in one piece, and bring your tribe through to success. You will, however, have to act with both caution and speed. What a joyful koan!
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Are you the one? Is it now? Suddenly, everything is moving in slow-mo, or you’re cranked up into bullet time. It’s hard to know which is most true. Either way, you can do what you have to do before most people realize what’s in play and the consequences thereof.
Sagittarius: If it were easy, you wouldn’t be so pumped up. Be glad you have such a concrete reason to get your head back in the game. Once you’ve cleared the distractions, you’ll find the goals easy to set and almost easier to achieve. You have a friend in an unexpected place.
Capricorn: Skip the blame assigning and get back to your authentic values. Your choices are your own- rough hew them how the environment will. Take a stand and take charge, you have the technology and the vision to make this disaster a bionic success. You can if you will.
Aquarius: Obedience is harder than sacrifice. If you do the thing as asked, you’ll come out smelling like a rose — and it will be an act of bravery on your part, since outcomes are almost never guaranteed. Stand up and be counted. Then spread your conviction like a web virus.
Pisces: Look around: Is this where you feel you should be? If you were going to take action and make a conscious choice, what would you do? Whose advice will you trust? Consult with the still, small voice within and you can’t go wrong. Don’t hurry, and bring a new partner.
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Horoscope
April 10-16, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: You’ll say what you have to say with feeling. You’ll feel what you have to feel with turbo-charged intensity. You’ll drive home for yourself the message that what you want and what you’re willing to do about any given desire might not be the same thing. Tempted to act rashly? Go right ahead. You’ll either teach yourself a useful life-lesson, or you’ll succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Pony up when your turn comes to eat crow. There’s enough blame to go around for every single body.
Aries: Destiny has an aspect both fierce and lovely in the coming cycle. Use your sixth sense to find the key to your desires buried in an old emotional fall-out shelter. If you’re both brave and honest, you’ll accomplish what really matters. Give that Cancer buddy a second chance.
Taurus: Pocket the change, but jingle it with intention. There’s a matter in the material world which calls out for an application of spiritual juju to find its best-of-all-possible solutions. Hear the birds, remember your dreams, go shopping for a means of recycling your cast-offs. Dig.
Gemini: You’re the best at puzzles and conundrums. Find four separate and correct answers to anything that stymies you at the moment. In some combination of those, or a quintessential version arising from your conscious application, you’ll find exactly the right path to tread.
Cancer: The heat is on, but you’ve got game and you’re not afraid to play it. Fluidity of strategy has long been your hall-mark. It’s not just the road you choose to walk. It’s also the force with which you choose to walk it. Practice restraint as much as you act for progress.
Leo: Persuade yourself, using all your legendary charm, to get on with it. You’re done with delay. Choose to do and you’ll be choosing well. Choose to act on a plan and your success is almost certain. Choose to listen to the doubting voices within and you may grind to a halt.
Virgo: You’re persistent in your wish to see your community a place as warm and safe as it is attractive and value conscious. Ask yourself if your goals would be easier to achieve if you were in a different location. Ask yourself if you want the model or the reality. Assess positions.
Libra: Take the point as offered and apply it with some care. You’re lucky someone else has your best interests at heart. Be sure to show your gratitude for the eleventh hour miracle. These gifts take a lot of juice. You’ll need to begin plotting how to pass your good fortune on.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Whether the weather is fine or fierce, you’ll be more able to get on with the tasks at hand by grasping the key to your spiritual engagement in this undertaking. Once you do so, whether through application or epiphany, all the rough, up hill work will dissolve into a delight.
Sagittarius: Given all you know and all you’re ready to do, it’s interesting to see you still have some trouble getting out of bed. What’s up? You’ll find it more easily decided on than done to stop procrastinating. Could there be a greater cosmic reason for the delay? Watch for signs.
Capricorn: You can’t resist picking at the mortar holding the keystone of the arch in place. You can’t resist jiggling the photographer’s elbow when the historic poses are taken. You can’t resist finding that loose thread and pulling until the entire sleeve falls off.
Aquarius: It would have been a piece of cake, but then the Hydra-headed problems on the domestic front reared up and took the stage, front and center. You won’t be a contender this time around. You’re not ready to compromise enough to play ball with the goombas. Reflect.
Pisces: It wouldn’t be the first time, and it won’t be the last. You’ve got a lot on your emotional plate this very second, and some of it isn’t easy to choke down without a lot of pre-digestion. Get on with your next creative effort. A fresh focus will spread across your life.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
Horoscope
April 3-9, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: Can things simultaneously heat up and cool down? Is it possible for something going backward to make forward progress? Chaos physics aside, yes, Virginia, the Universe embraces opposing paradigms and throws them together to get along in the same sand-box of mortal perception. You’ll get as much started as you find you have to finish off. You’ll be taking giant steps to the future and currently halting in apparent motion. This might be a Zen koan — or it might be (more likely) the literal truth.
Aries: Is it your turn, again? Be pleased with your primacy. Be active in your advantages. Be realistic in your expectations. You’ll get farther with less fuss if you remember to take the parking brake up. You can ask any question, but you’re not guaranteed a wish fulfillment.
Taurus: You’re not to blame. It wasn’t part of anything you were meant to handle. But the ton of bricks appears to be headed your way — with a shipping label clearly affixed. Now’s a good time to take two timely steps to the side. Now’s the time to get out of the kitchen. Go.
Gemini: You can do anything you wish. You can refuse every opportunity posted by the ineffable on your behalf. You have the choice. But the blessings and the bounty of existence are yours by birthright. Leave your inner toddler behind, and relearn the art of getting to ‘yes.’
Cancer: You fell for the hype and now you’re more than a little disappointed? You used to be more sophisticated than that. Celebrate the rebirth of your innocence. Celebrate a new start. Celebrate having to face your choices and learn their names and their causes. It’s a bargain!
Leo: How did you know which end was up when you were little? It was trial and error. So is this phase. Don’t be concerned with your mistakes, they point the way to maturing judgment and focused action. This is a curve, and you’re not far from your optimal point on it. Breathe.
Virgo: Is it just you? Not that all the news has been rough, but the cumulative effects of some of it have been hard to take in all at once. Cut yourself some slack, give yourself some options. Reconsider those choices already cast by the wayside. You’re still a contender. Leap.
Libra: Is it your vitality or motivation that went south first? It feels like allergies, but the problem is all in your head. If you take a new attitude, you’ll be able to have it fitted and on your back in three shakes of a lamb’s tale. Go for something bold, different and radically loud.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: The winds of change are sweeping across the prairie of your perception. You see differently — perhaps in a part of the spectrum not previously visible to you. These extensions of your personal power can be used for good. You could also just go and take over the world.
Sagittarius: This is a time for renewal of faith. This is a time to show the world what you’re made of and stand up to be counted. You’re good for the promises you make. You’re good for the long haul. All you need now is someone who believes in you enough to make it true.
Capricorn: Destiny wears many faces. Sometimes you get what you expect, and sometimes you don’t even know what’s out there to know what might be on offer. Open your heart to the options and you’ll be surprised at the true range of what’s available. Listen in the silence.
Aquarius: You’re still on top of your game. You’re still the one who does the best on-the-fly-analysis ever. You’re still the one who grasps the big picture whilst surviving the application of all those pesky details. You’ll even be getting credit for your efforts. Back to school soon?
Pisces: Do you have what you want? Do you want what you have? Can these two points of view be made to dovetail into a single productive whole? It’s not certain that they can, but you have the gifts to find solutions where no one else could. Don’t be afraid to quit, if necessary.
Support Metro Weekly’s Journalism
These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
