Unfashionably Late in Black
Hearsay is nothing if not fashionably untimely. Which is why it is now filing a report on the Saint At Large’s Rites XXIX: The Dangerous Black Party for Boys, the dirtiest Boy Scout camp ever. Hearsay made the rare trip to Manhattan, specifically to the Roseland Ballroom in New York’s theater district. Many thousands of leather and fetish men were getting sprung for spring, which is dirty work, for sure. Among those from D.C. Hearsay spotted getting sexually sullied at the 29th annual Black Party were: Ron ”MILF” Brown and his NYC crew, Sean ”Perky” Eagler, Keith ”Pesky” Iames, Tom ”Bumbalicious” Walker and Colin ”Tuna and Pretzels” Stewart. Hearsay wasn’t doing too bad itself, thanks to the stiff ones bartender Mark ”Rump Shaker” Loque served up. And thanks also to former D.C. resident Don ”Page” Turner, who helped Hearsay get in a little bit better shape with a 
guest pass to the best gay gym this side of I-95, David Barton Gym and Moonbounce. Why, Mr. Barton himself was even at the Chelsea location the Friday night before the party, pumping iron while local DJ Johnny ”Energizer” Dynell pumped tunes from his own wheels of steel.
This year’s Black Party occurred the same night as something called the Imperial Court’s Night of a Thousand Gowns, a drag institution in Manhattan. 
The Village Voice‘s Michael ”Crassing to Be Clever” Musto said that that rare, simultaneous drag development forced some dresser-uppers to frantically change from one extravagant costume to another: ”running home to uncover their facial hair, take off the bra and let the tits hang in a muscle T.” Hearsay didn’t see any signs of mascara residue or unfortunate tuck plucks, but then maybe those weren’t just black eyes or profusely punched pecs as Hearsay had originally thought. The Black Party ain’t for pussies, in any case. This is a dog and pig show. In fact, a figurative pig of the female persuasion was roasted right there on the premises — in the set built as a campfire just outside a cave at the base of the Matterhorn. There were miners in that cave, and they weren’t just mining for gold. There were rock-climbers too, and they weren’t really climbing rocks. The sight of those hairy, muscle-laden lads — part of porn-star headliner Francois ”Fighting Titan” Sagat‘s posse — climbing up a net with their backs to the crowd in nothing but white jockstraps? Well, that’s Hearsay’s kind of camp.
The next night, the Miami-based but legendary New York promoter Ric ”My Name in Lights” Sena hosted his first Alegria party at the newly refurbished and repurposed Webster Hall, which days earlier the city had dignified a historic landmark. The 120-plus-year East Village haunt oozed character. It oozed thousands of men, too. 
It was hard to move around the dance floor in the early going, and the brand-new wood floor was a rocking to all the foot-stomping. But soon enough, the boys figured out the layout and got with the flow, and the party became its usual steaming-good time. Hearsay had fun dancing with all the hairy muscle porn stars celebrating the dirty, sexy weekend, especially Jake ”Punch Drunk” Deckard and Damien ”Detained and Restrained” Crosse. Just before Sena presented DJ Abel with a giant lit birthday cake that Abel blew out before he set the place on fire, Jeanie ”Party People Powerhouse” Tracy performed. Woo hoo! Among too many familiar faces, both from D.C. and New York, Hearsay especially enjoyed watching Glanson ”Touch The Sky” LaBarrie burn it up. Just two nights before, LaBarrie had packed his friends into the upstairs of U Street’s El Sol Mexican Restaurant for his going-away party. Yes, D.C. has lost another one to the dirty city to the North. LaBarrie packed himself up and moved the very next day….
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