Horoscope
September 25-October 1, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: You’re bringing home those necessities you require to see you through the coming dark months. Don’t forget to plan for your soul as well as your body whilst storing up your treasures on earth. Don’t forget to plan for miraculous calamities and wondrous misfortunes. Every setback points the way to a richer victory down the road. Make yourself a part of the solution by remembering first impressions count. Let a smile be your umbrella and use the French word when you can’t remember the English.
Aries: Tempers may flare over pointless matters of niggling magnitude. This does not give you carte blanche to run amok. This does not mean you have to put up with a hassle you didn’t earn, either. Take slow, deep breaths and continue looking forward — even while cleaning as you go.
Taurus: Piffle is as piffle provokes. You may find yourself doing odd things in response to odder behaviors on the part of your partner. Could you be a passive instigator in things peculiar? If you want more than bystander status, plant as you would choose to reap. Wear your patience.
Gemini: SNAFUs of FUBAR quality litter the landscape of your personal experience. Some mistakes are neither foreseeable nor preventable. Sometimes blamestorming won’t fix the past — or improve the future. An innocent pretense could get out of hand quickly. Walk the walk gently.
Cancer: If you have the will, there is a way. The way is not direct. The way is not clear. The way is not smooth. But it exists and it may well be worth every ounce of effort you expend to get the job done. Let your life continue to speak. Step forward graciously.
Leo: You could have been a contender. In fact, you still are if you’re brave enough to reframe the question to accommodate your change in circumstances. This isn’t the end of the world as you know it. This really is the first day of the rest of your life. Get into it.
Virgo: You have wished and wished for elusive fulfillment. You may be surprised at how near you are to your dream. First, there will be a final round of hard labor to achieve the foundation of what matters most. You have the chops. Will you apply them? Wholeheartedly?
Libra: No, it’s not really your fault. You were just with it when the whole thing went to hell in a hand basket. All righty, then: Pick yourself up and get on with doing what needs to be done to rebuild and reconnect the world as you remember it. Don’t delay past Monday!
Scorpio: You so wish it would be that simple. Sometimes your wishes are granted and sometimes they’re just another fantasy to contemplate in the tub. You won’t have time to watch which way the cat jumps, so there are bound to be surprises round every corner. Go there.
Sagittarius: You’re filled with secret nostalgia. The way things were, wonderful but somehow not — right? Hence, your present situation’s shape . Admit the truth then get on with making the most with what you have. You’ll beat the ups and downs of the Big Picture. Sing aloud.
Capricorn: You have understanding. Is it a predicament or an opportunity? You’re ready to be the judge of that and other matters. You’ve already reassessed the assumptions of the basic framework. Will you tear them down to the ground and start over? Will you merely renovate?
Aquarius: You hear more than you let on. You know more than you ever share. You have a hoard, and you’ve been waiting for the right time to use it. Is this your lucky moment? You have that talent for reverse fortune. Take hold of your vision and run as far as you can with it.
Pisces: Poor baby. There, that probably feels a little better doesn’t it? You hated that choice and now you don’t have to keep on making it. You’re ready for all that and more, since you’ve freed up your soul. That giant sucking sound isn’t a vacuum, it’s life returning to your heart.
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Horoscope
September 18-24, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: What’s done is done, right? Well, yes and no — in this case. Envision for yourself what it is that you might go back and do over, try again or erase with finesse. There could be more reasonable options than the unreasonable premise might suggest at first glance. Take up arms against your sea of troubles. You have right on your side, and the ideals to make you almost invulnerable. Is it time to go shopping for something to protect that troublesome Achilles heel?
Aries: It’s not a contest, but you can’t help competing. It’s not an argument, but you insist on winning. It’s not a judgment, but you’re in the right. These things are true. Your intention is without malice. Your self-control is not all it might be. Shape up or ship out.
Taurus: Your heart is in the right place. Your ability to have others understand your perspective is tops. Yet you want more, much more. What can you do to receive your much anticipated, much delayed vindication? You won’t get it by sulking. Try direct canvassing, one opinion at a time.
Gemini: You’re talking and you won’t shut up. You know where all the bodies are buried and who’s got the jam. You’re ready for the big time, and you’ll prove it with your acumen and insider knowledge. But what if some things are best kept quiet? What about discretion? Think!
Cancer: Simplicity is where you find it. You won’t be finding much, but you can plan towards building in this cherished quality. To what life changes might you commit in order to form a more perfect union with your ideals? What visions might you renounce or remake? Ask a Scorpio.
Leo: Is it decision time again? And you without your entourage of expert advisers. Will you play lord of the jungle and just roar until you get your way? Will you stomp and fuss and break things? Or could you just turn up the wattage on your famous charm? Plan.
Virgo: It isn’t where you stand, it’s what you do there. It isn’t who you know, it’s how you get the word out. It isn’t what you thought, there’s so much more in play. Find the core of the matter and build on that. Call out the troops, call in the specialists.
Libra: Take a walk on the wild side. Disagree with your peers. Pick at the opinions of your superiors. Counsel unorthodoxy to your charges. Do what you may or might to stir the pot. The world is on the cusp of change and you could be part of the solution.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: It’s not mere sensitivity, though you’re entitled to be sensitive. It’s not mere sentiment, though you’ve earned your stripes there, too. It’s all that and more. Suck it up and get with the proposed program. Your cooperation earns the points you’ll want later.
Sagittarius: Blessings in disguise flock around you like pigeons dressed as ghosts for an early Halloween. Keep your eyes open for the trick embedded in the treat. Once you get the hand of the adjusted rhythm, you’ll be back on top of your game and good to go the distance.
Capricorn: You could stand around talking about it ’til hell froze over. You could speculate until the moon became green cheese. Or you could rally your forces and marshal your resources and get on with whatever it is that comes next. You have the talent, the support and the will. Do it.
Aquarius: If it were so easy as all that, you wouldn’t maintain your interest. Admit some of your fascination comes from the difficulty of the matter at hand, and then move on to solving your mountainous problem. If you feel stuck, you might call on a Gemini to reassess your issue.
Pisces: It’s complicated being you. It’s complicated standing up for right when the world operates on expediency. It’s a positive snarl working through the compromises and promises to get the end results of your decisions. Respect and communication keep it all ticking over.
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Horoscope
September 11-17, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: Is that a light at the end of the tunnel? Is that a break in the clouds? Is that a respite in the midst of turbulence? It is. Since you needn’t keep running around like your head is on fire, what productive detailing can you knock out? To whom will you turn for advice? Go for older and/or wiser to get the best input. Don’t be afraid of your inner quality freak: If you don’t ask, you won’t get it.
Aries: You can’t help it if your dreams are more real to you than reality. It’s not your fault if your truly vivid inner life takes precedence over gray-toned reality. Could you try to bring your daily life more in line with your ideals and visions? Are you brave enough to even try?
Taurus: This could be a culmination. This could be a peak from which to plan and move forward boldly. This could be all that and a bag of chips. Your enhanced common sense takes you beyond the realm of the mundane and into the stellar with almost no effort. Wear blue.
Gemini: You took your turn. You did okay. It was nothing to write home about. Will you brood? Will you pout? Will you look back in petulance? Will you pull your socks up and get on with moving forward in your life? You can do anything you want, but you’ll have to make a choice.
Cancer: Opposites attract, but can they stay together through hell or high water? You’ll have a chance to make a decision there. If I were you, I would listen to my heart and let the realities fall where they may. Seek a Virgo if you need someone to tell it like it ought to be.
Leo: Potential is your middle name. So why have you put blinders on? There’s so much out there still to be understood and assimilated. You’re as ready as you’re ever likely to be, but you’ll have to be brave and strike out on your own if you want to get from here to there.
Virgo: You’ve still got it like that, and the whole world is watching in admiration. You’re still tops in your field, and there are very few who wouldn’t acknowledge the justice in that statement. So quit fretting and get on with what comes next. Plan to succeed spectacularly.
Libra: You’re settling in, but not in the manner you’d anticipated. You’re ready for the next step, but you’re still a little disoriented. What will you choose for your compass? Who can you trust with your secret? Where will you go to clear your mind for your next triumph of the will?
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Destiny wears big boots, but has a delicate step. You could tag along behind. You could serve as path-finder. You could work the flank. But you might wish to consider walking hand-in-hand with this kinder, gentler fate you’ve acquired. Call a Capricorn to get the truth.
Sagittarius: You’ve seen it all. You’ve been there and done that. You’ve even been a guest judge. Yet you long for the fresh and surprising. You hope for the novel and engaging. Can you bear with reality a little longer in order to reap the rewards which are justly yours now?
Capricorn: Everything is getting big — and at an appalling rate. If you can’t control the momentum of this thing, can you go along for the ride? It’s a bit like surfing a tsunami, but you have the chops and the chutzpah to make a go of it. Take a break with a Libra soon.
Aquarius: You’re not the one they were looking for. Is it personal or something else? Don’t be hasty drawing conclusions: Hidden matter might make it all work out for the best if you can resist interfering from the fifth column. Let your life speak for you, all will be well.
Pisces: Sensitivity is at a premium. You have too much, and the rest of the world is stomping around in jackboots and leaving lug-soled prints on your delicate neck. Should you toughen up? Should you go limp and resist passively? Only you can decide for you. Dance on Friday.
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Horoscope
September 4-10, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: It’s hard to remain uncritical when you can’t see the forest for the trees. Yes, God is in the details. But wouldn’t it be fun to see how they all connect and make up for each other’s deficiencies? More fun than picking at nits, at least. Relax. Take a long, scented bath whilst thumbing through your favorite tunes. Have another cup of green tea. Eat fruit fresh from the orchard. It’s difficult to be picky with sun-warmed juices running down your chin.
Aries: You could over-simplify and go charging off over the hill. But you might have done better to reconnoiter and establish the strength and firepower of whatever it is you have to fight next. Is immediate action more important than strategic planning? Wear red Saturday.
Taurus: Quit fussing. Your hair looks great. Your clothes are well-coordinated. Your manners are all that they should be for this. You’re prepared enough and charming enough and it will all work out. But you might relax a bit so that your personal charisma does the heavy lifting.
Gemini: You’re standing tall in your boots and you’re not afraid of what comes next-so long as you’re not hooked up to a lie detector, that story will work like gangbusters. If you need to dose up your confidence, use your words to convey your worries. Your cronies will fix you.
Cancer: This isn’t the beginning of the end; this is the end of the beginning. You understand your available resources and how to make the best use of them. You’ve grasped the lay of the land. You could use a focus to maximize your productivity. Could you take a night class?
Leo: Stand and deliver. You’ve got the goods and they’re not getting any fresher. Put out or shut up was never truer than now. But you have to decide to get fully involved and fully committed to make this work. Can you set aside your doubts and pride to get to clear here?
Virgo: Walking the talk will take you further than you’d ever imagined. Setting a good example might make you a bed of laurels upon which you could rest for an eternity. But the temptation to give in and hand out the rough side of your tongue is strong. Use the force.
Libra: Seemly or not, the world is as it is. There’s not much room for Mr. Nice Guy to coast in this paradigmatic struggle. You’ll have to pick a side and play to win. Happily, your charm is near its biorhythmic peak all week long. You can have it if you can give it warm fuzzies. Go.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Is it a dance? Is it the circling of two warriors in hand-to-hand combat? Is it a prelude to sex? Aren’t most things for you? Maybe, and maybe not. You’ll shape your dreams of peace with the help of your community. You’ll find fulfillment in the last place you look.
Sagittarius: Constant vigilance is the price of freedom. It may be a price you’d pay. It may be that you don’t like the strings attached. But what alternatives have you still got? Inventory. Be thorough. Itemize strengths and weaknesses. Do the best you can with what you have.
Capricorn: It’s like fiction, but it’s real. It’s like a dream, but you’re awake. It’s like a wish, but it comes from hard work and application. You have a five-year plan. You have the technology to get your inner tractor all geared up to put you on the road to prosperity. Paint.
Aquarius: Are you as innocent as the bird on a telephone wire? Are you as prescient as the baby in its stroller? Are you good for the out-of-the-ordinary and the wholly reframed perspective you will need to adapt to get from now to then? You could be with a little help.
Pisces: Peace on earth begins at home. You can go 60 percent of the way to the middle, but you could go further. Would you become resentful if you did? Would you be a doormat if you did? What are the options? Consider your ties and your freedoms as you make a decision.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
