Horoscope
October 30-November 5, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: It’s time to lay the best of all possible plans. It’s time to use deep forces, within yourself and hidden in others, to make the most of the future secretive. It’s time to do what must be done, without counting the cost. It’s time to seduce the world into your way of understanding — and transmit your priorities likewise. There’s change coming, and everyone can hardly wait. You could be the first one into the pool of the new and different. Stay brave.
Aries: Is this where you wanted to be? Is this what you wanted to be doing? If not, don’t beat yourself up. Just get on with adjusting your trajectory so that you’re closer to your goals and further from frustration. Ask another Aries to tell you the truth.
Taurus: It walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck, and it probably has a liver to die for. But you can avoid any hint of cruelty, if you can get the duck’s cooperation. Will you convince it to end its lousy existence? Will you propagate Malthusian beliefs?
Gemini: You want to find a radical solution without having to take radical steps. You want a bloodless revolution, from the inside out. Where will you start? Could you simply set a consistently good example? Would it be worth your while to try?
Cancer: If you break this heart, don’t worry — you already own it. And it might still be under warranty. But will it ever be the same after it’s been repaired? You have more choices than you know. Look off the line for a clever solution.
Leo: Jump if you want to, the view is spectacular all the way down. Take the stairs if you prefer the workout to the freak-out. Don’t get more extreme with your bad self than you have to in order to effect this interesting transition. Ask Tuesday.
Virgo: Call it in the air. You’re lucky, with a stored luck spindled up inside you. Use your odds-bending proclivities for the greater good, and a share of it will redound to your best advantage. You’ve looked into the pit, now walk away from it.
Libra: Give as good as you get. Give better and you’ll go down in history. Share what you have and you’ll be swamped with resource assistance when push comes to shove. It’s a beautiful thing, and a useful one. Wear stripes for attention Sunday.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You’re as powerful now as you’re ever going to be. But the power is embedded in your cellular make-up. It will untwist with every exhale. It will expand with each flush of blood through your system. Don’t get too impatient for the magic.
Sagittarius: Time and tide make more noise than most people can imagine, and the susurrations of the intangibles are keeping you awake at night. Don’t try to be productive, just try to survive the intensity of the awareness. Pisces can share.
Capricorn: Aren’t you proud of yourself for picking up the pieces and making them into a shape and of a character that actually suits your needs? It’s not a skill everyone has. You’re gifted, and the gift is priceless. Continue building your new future.
Aquarius: Why would you look anywhere else? What could you have which would be substantially better than what you have already? Would you be willing to change your whole life to get there? Be sure to answer honestly and learn the underlying truth.
Pisces: You don’t have to be afraid of the dark. You don’t have to vanquish ignorance alone. You don’t have to go to such lengths. You’re ready to be all that you can be, and that without having to extinguish the light of life in others. Celebrate.
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Horoscope
October 23-29, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: It’s been a bumpy ride, lately — and there’s little smooth sailing ahead. Embrace your metaphysical extreme athlete, if you’re ready for the cutting edge of wild and woolly you have to look forward to. Equally, don’t forget to do your inner warm-ups: Stretch your definitions, flex your compassion, and rotate your point of view. The more limber you are on the spiritual level, the better your chances of learning from these interesting times rather than merely surviving them. Prepare for the unexpected Saturday.
Aries: If you’ve chosen to take a walk on the wild side, it might be wise to bring a GPS along so that you have options once your feet are tired and your mind is worn out. If you pack a lunch, you’ll be able to stay out longer. Wear a smile.
Taurus: Look, but don’t touch (unless you know for a fact that you can bring it home with you). Think twice before getting too involved, buyer’s remorse might be a bridge too far in this action-packed week. Pace yourself in order to get the most from Sunday. Call Leo.
Gemini: It was easier, once upon a time. It was more colorful, back in the day. It was simpler, when your soul and brain were more elementary. Now you’re all grown up and so is the world around you. Use your maturity to reevaluate your position and decisions.
Cancer: What you want, when you want it would be optimal, but what will you do if you’re facing reality? You could whine and pout, but those skills don’t show you to your best advantage. If you employ compassion and empathy, you could come out further on top than you suppose.
Leo: It’s a brave, new world and there’s lots to see and do. Strap your skates on and get with the flow of things as early as you can haul your parts out into the fully interactive world. You’ve got the technology, you can make yourself stronger and faster alike.
Virgo: Wherever you go, there you are. Sometimes the view from inside is lovely, sometimes it’s frightening, sometimes it’s only confusing. But it won’t go away without your girding up your loins and taking the matter firmly in hand. Cut the slack fat and juicy on Friday.
Libra: What would you do differently if you could roll back the clock? Whom would you call if you had unlimited access? Where would you go if you could be anywhere instantaneously? The clues to the future are buried in the here and now. Call a Gemini to get the skinny.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Simplicity has much to recommend it. Sadly, these aren’t the times to enjoy it to the top of your bent. Go for the complex, reach for the subterranean, advance through the Machiavellian machinations towards your deep, dark goals. Seek solutions in the last place you’d look.
Sagittarius: It was a good idea at the time. Happily, your charm could see you through with flying colors — if you could resist the urge to tell everyone else how to milk the ducks. Keep your thoughts (and your hands) to yourself, and you’ll do just fine. Ask an Aries.
Capricorn: Dance on the head of a pin with the angels. Rock in a parallel dimension with Schrodinger’s cat. Walk the line laid out by Gandhi. You can move to and through the extremes of the possible with grace and poise. You’ll get back what you invest; start soon.
Aquarius: Is this what you meant? Is this what you intended? Is there any other option? You might need to gain a higher vantage point to have maximum perspective. You might need to hire a Sherpa to get you there safely. It might be worth your while to do the extra research.
Pisces: When is the here-and-now too passé to consider? Where can you go to get away from it all inside you? How will you decide you’re free of what haunts you? Call it good when you hit metaphysical stasis. Call a friend when you hit a wall made of your own self-limitations.
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Horoscope
October 16-22, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: You’re doing the best you can with what you have. You’re working what you’ve got till you’re not sure you can anymore. These and other trite banalities float through your head whilst you attempt to reconcile how fed up you are with how much you want peace in your time — peace with honor. It’s no easy thing to feel both sides of the coin at once. Sleep in, move carefully and let someone else do the heavy lifting. Keep it together through Sunday.
Aries: You’ve been under more pressure with less cause, but you’re not exactly sure you can remember when. That’s okay, you’ve also got what it takes to go there and get ‘er done with maximum impact and minimum collateral damage. Celebrate on Saturday with your favorite Capricorn in tow.
Taurus: Simplicity is the mother of resolution. Eschew attempts to circle back or to shift the goal posts. There’s more than enough on your plate and everybody else’s just this minute. Use your ability to cut through the crap on Monday. You’ll be a hero and a role model.
Gemini: Look but don’t touch, and you won’t be able to get into more trouble than you can easily extricate yourself from. Call ’em like you see ’em, but don’t share your views with the hoi and polloi. If you can figure out how to target your message, you’ll save time.
Cancer: It’s the age of the anchovy, and you’re the one with the big, empty tin. It’s all out there for you, but you won’t find the little fishies eager to jump out of their habitat and into your possession on command. You’ll have to fish for what you think you want.
Leo: Persistence is one of your core gifts. You’ll be called on to exercise it to the top of your bent. Use that legendary charm to bring around the last few of your detractors. Everything was on hold, but not anymore. Move forward with confidence and panache. Call Tuesday.
Virgo: It’s not what you want, it’s how you express your needs that’s causing all the Sturm und Drang. You only have to reframe to make yourself understood, even popular, once again. Diplomacy may look like the mating dance of tropical birds, but you could learn from those behaviors.
Libra: Your consistency has suffered long enough. It’s time to bring your focus back in, so that you can get on with what really matters in the here and now, and not in the ”might have been.” Wouldn’t it be lovely to have that monkey off your back? Use a Taurus.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You want to, and you have the juice, and you have the know-how. Can you get the go ahead from your team of co-conspirators? Will this move you toward your objective or further from it? You could just convince them, but why not let the truth speak out?
Sagittarius: Go on. It’s your turn. You’ve waited, albeit not patiently; but you have waited. If you wait to long you may fall into the Hamlet-ian conundrum — and make the whole point moot by its very lack of timeliness. So don’t be afraid to go positive and sell it like there’s no tomorrow.
Capricorn: Wherever you go, there you are. No matter how far, how deep, or how abstruse. And frankly, abstruse gets on your all-too-practical nerves. Belly up to facing the music. You won’t regret your honesty, and you won’t have to remember which falsehood goes where.
Aquarius: Piecemeal is sometimes the best method. You can assemble the greater whole once you have more of the scraps in possession. It’s all been floating around in a swirling little cloud of detritus and irrelevance for long enough. Now gather it all up and make it work properly.
Pisces: You were one of the greatest, back in the day. You had a glow about you. You can have it back, too. But you’ll have to stop beating yourself up over those perceived shortcomings. Hell, they’re not even your perceptions. Let it go and let your life speak for you.
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Horoscope
October 9-15, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: When the going gets tough — and it’s been tough — the tough get tougher. Admire your new calluses, whether they be on your hands or your heart, and get on with the business of getting ‘er done. You’re closer than you can perceive from this vantage point. It’s the tricky atmosphere — or perhaps the treacherous terrain. In any case, you have the chops and the smarts and the willpower to see you through. Don’t allow coldness to stand in for staunchness. You know better than that.
Aries: You love to walk the walk. It beats the heck out of standing around with your parts in your hand. Only make sure you’ve tied your shoelaces properly and put your socks on first. Now you’re really ready to get out there and show ’em how you do it with confidence. Strut.
Taurus: Hang onto your hat, you’re in for a bumpy ride. If you’re stomach is not too full of all the crow you’ve recently had to eat, you shouldn’t even feel nauseated by the experience. The seas calm and the weather clears by Tuesday. Plan for the future with extra optimism.
Gemini: It wasn’t your fault, and you said so at the time. Was no one listening? Did they assume you were fitting the story to the listener? Never mind, your honor isn’t smirched and you’ll soon be taking baby steps in the formerly forbidden right direction. Go with pride.
Cancer: Unplug your ears. The news is both unexpected and very welcome. It won’t come until the 11th hour, but come it will. Call ’em like you see ’em, with the understanding that others will come to your point of view before it’s entirely too late. Shop on Wednesday.
Leo: You gave at the office. You put out at home. You can’t stop being what everyone wants and/or needs; but you’re bleeding out faster than you can replace your resources at this point. When was the last time you did something selfish? It’s that time again. Go for broke.
Virgo: Since you asked, this too shall pass. Further, the check is indeed in the mail. You’ll even find out why it took so long to arrive. Keep a smile on your face and the whine out of your voice, and you’ll have more concrete assistance than you ever dreamed possible.
Libra: What with one thing and another, you’re exhausted and not even halfway there. Okay, it’s time for a strategy session. Call in your most ruthless cronies to help you weasel your way through and out of this one. If the solution isn’t devious, it’s not worthy of your problem.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: You’d like to complain, but it all traces back to you pretty clearly. You’d like to dodge the assignment, but there’s no one else with the skills. You’d like to let the chips fall where they may, but you have too much riding on the outcome in the long term. Man up; ride out.
Sagittarius: Simplicity is for simpletons. Sometimes, it’s also for those who let the ball drop and are having the devil’s own time picking it back up and moving forward. Count to 10 and don’t think of a rabbit. Then do one thing at a time-carefully. Once you have the pattern….
Capricorn: See Dick run. Run Dick, run. Run from the funny people. Run, run, run. Or turn and face the problem head on with your dignity and pride as your armor and your shield. You’re not a bad person; you’re just fed up and over it. Admit that you have choices Monday.
Aquarius: Natural consequences sound like a good way to handle discipline until the shoe is on the other foot. It doesn’t have the same margin of justness once justice is administered in this impartial, unmerciful fashion. Let your grievance go and open your mind to the other side.
Pisces: You want what you want, when you want it-and you only want it for the greater good. How comforting for you…but what about the other side of the coin? Is there another story associated with your point of view? Can absolutism triumph absolutely? Reflect honestly.
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Horoscope
October 2-8, 2008
Heavenly Round-Up: Is that your idealism taking a beating in the back alley of your soul? Why doesn’t someone do something about this senseless act of violence? Could it be you secretly wish to test your commitment? Could it be you’ve lost your will to defend yourself, given the alternatives? Could it be your fate to suffer and suffer? Of course it could, but we both know that conclusion is not the whole picture. Give up on giving up and get on with getting whole.
Aries: It is in your nature to try more and try harder and try with all your might and main, for a while. You’ve officially been there and done that — now you can leave it behind and bring on your new motivation. Are you person enough to go there?
Taurus: Where the bee sucks, you’re customarily careful not to walk. Is it the territory, so unfamiliar? Is it the people, so clannish? Is it your self-absorption, so absorbing? You’re not the type to tell a secret, even to your own self sometimes. Don’t believe the hype.
Gemini: Look and touch all you want, but you can’t bring it home with you; and you knew that fact going in. Now what will you do to make all right again? There’re only so many words in any language, and none of them may be sufficient. Meditate to clear.
Cancer: You could if you wanted to; but you would really have to want to. You have the ability to change direction in the face of danger, threats or mere shadows on the wall. You have the ability to morph into a ”safe” shape. Use your powers for the greater good.
Leo: It’s not your job. You weren’t even there when it all went to hell in a hand basket. But you’re there now, largely in order to pick up the pieces. Resign yourself to this fact, but remember to take all the credit when the smoke clears and the mirrors have all broken.
Virgo: You won’t give up — you have too much at stake. You won’t back off — you know you’re not wrong. You won’t let up — you couldn’t if you wanted to. Now we’ve established how tough and indomitable you are, but you still have an impasse. Pray for a solution.
Libra: No, it’s not all your fault. It’s partly the bigger picture. There’s a mess of stuff out there beyond the control of any one person (you’re that one person). But you can choose to be a part of the solution. You can choose to lead or get out of the way. Don’t follow.
Scorpio: It wasn’t your goal. It isn’t your preference. Yet here you are, and you’re strong and alert and not afraid of anything you’ll admit to. Therefore, it’s time to pull out that four-star charisma and get on with making the most of your life. Wear dark red on Tuesday.
Sagittarius: It sparkles plenty; but the lining is made of tin and not silver. Tin is more malleable. Tin is more plentiful. Tin can do what few metal alloys can. You could be the humble can extending the supply lines. You could be the decorative lamp, shedding illumination.
Capricorn: What other choice do you have? Every other choice, by popular reckoning, could be yours. Your resources are all lined up to do your bidding, and your grasp of the necessary steps between you and self-fulfillment is outstanding. Don’t be afraid of success.
Aquarius: You used to have the whole thing down pat. You used to know all the answers in the book — and where to find them in the index. You used to be unstoppable. Why not sit down and contemplate the second law of thermodynamics? Things fall apart, sometimes.
Pisces: It’s not on you, but your dreams won’t leave you alone. It’s not your responsibility, but you’re more together than any other available body. It’s not a targeted thing, but your turn has turned up. Choose to let your life speak. You’d do well to remember back in the day….
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
