Metro Weekly

Going Military at Cobalt and Getting Down to Business at NGLCC Din-Din

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Last Friday, November 7, Cobalt was hopping, and not just because of its exceedingly popular Real Man's Happy Hour, which every week brings all the local bears out of hibernation. Grrrr! Why lookie who it is, last week's covermusican himself, Richard "It's Funny" Morel. (Not to be confused with last week's Coverboy, or the annual Coverboy of the Year Contest going on right now. Be sure to vote!) And right next to him, the man who took his picture, Metro Weekly's own Todd "Gin and Bear It" Franson.

The joint was jumping, and not just because it was Cobalt general manager Jason "I Heart the ’80s" Royce's birthday. But in fact it was! Happy birthday, JR! The club gave out a 21-gun salute to the military, encouraging patrons to dress up in support of the troops, or in support of uniform fetishes the world over, or in support of Veteran’s Day, or just for fun. The club itself was dressed up military-style, with mesh decorations hanging from the ceiling. (Do they double as a sling in the privacy of a closed club, Hearsay wondered. Research for another day!) Hearsay stayed just long enough to hear some of the fun and funky tunes from DJ Darryl "That Was Easy" Strickland, and to see Trey "Linda Is My Bitch Now" Graham and Tim "Nobody Beats Him" Hollandmoritz. Hearsay was taken by the evening's host, Ronnie "Fightin Illini" Kroell, of Bravo’s Make Me a Supermodel, as well as the late-night DJ, Angelo "Tribal Tantra" Kortez.

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Earlier in the evening, Hearsay was sloshing about at the NGLCC National Dinner, hobnobbing with big business types who know the difference between a spreadsheet and spreading one’s legs. Hearsay has a word of friendly, unsolicited advice for Chris “Cookie Dough” Dyer: Enough already with the opening “The Mayor Couldn’t Be Here” joke. Hearsay has heard it delivered about 3.2 billion times and, well, it’s time for some new material. If you’re stuck for humor, Hearsay suggests a copy of 1001 Bon Mots for Mayoral Aides, available at Amazonwomenonthemoon.org. Hearsay was delighted to see a side of Wes “Kookie, Lend Me Your” Combs it didn’t know existed. Let’s just say it reminded Hearsay of its own Beatlemania days. And Hearsay was impressed when Dave “Whoop Whoop!” Perruzza, currently one of the city’s most eligible bachelors, scored via the evening’s silent auction not only a walk-on on Ugly Betty but a dinner date with a male supermodel. Guess which one? (Give up? Hearsay, will give you a visual hint.) Looks like Perruzza’s Bachelorhood Reboot is off to a spectacularly successful start….

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