Horoscope
April 30-May 6, 2009
Heavenly Round-Up: If discontent were divine, we’d all die of ecstasy. But that’s not the likeliest scenario. There’s an itch, emanating from the cosmos, that we can’t find with the cute little bamboo back-scratcher. There’s a big-picture scenario full of necessities and obligations and acquisitions, but we’d rather spend our time in a collective pout so that there’s little fun to be had. Don’t stiffen your upper lip; buy yourself some flowers. Don’t pull your socks up; get fancy hosiery instead.
Aries: If you’re inspired, don’t hold back. If you’re tempted, don’t wait for a second invitation. If you’re overwhelmed, charge instead of retreating. There’s all manner of ”more” staged and ready to go when you are. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt on Saturday.
Taurus: You’re doing marvelously well getting those bricks made without any straw on hand. You’re a real trouper, showing folks what can be done with what’s in stock. You’re unconsciously contributing to the downfall of the whole, but only for the greater good. Celebrate.
Gemini: Anyone walking a mile in your fanciful footgear would perceive the root of your complaints. But they might also wonder how it was that you chose the path you’re on, the gear you’re using to get you from A to B, and your curious determination to do it the hard way. Reflect.
Cancer: You didn’t ask for it, but you didn’t say ”no” when it was being handed round. Will you stay for the denouement and the finale? Will you leave early and avoid the congestion of departure? Will you make a daring escape in front of so many witnesses? Prepare.
Leo: You are as you are, and that’s all you are. You share that trait with Yahweh and Popeye. In such good company, you don’t need to apologize for your nature or your actions. But you may wish to remember how powerful you really are, and what you might be doing otherwise.
Virgo: Temptation takes many forms. Sometimes it isn’t houris in Paradise. Sometimes it’s the temptation to tear at and tear down whatever you can reach. Monitor your motivations and your actions alike. It’s easier to complain than it is to be proactive. Seek counsel from a Capricorn.
Libra: Having been there and done that, you’re not exactly in the mood to show others how it’s done. In fact, you’d as soon forget and get on with the rest of your life. But compassion and connectivity call out to you. You have a duty to the collective unconscious — will you serve?
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: Sense and sensibility are all at the forefront of your perceptions. Are you being overly touchy, or ruthlessly realistic? You can survive anything graciously, but should you have to? And if you do, will you bring others along, or leave them in the mire? Consider.
Sagittarius: At least it’s not really all about you. You may serve as the goat to which the sins are tied, but they’re not your sins. You may be thrown over the cliff, but it’s ceremonial and not personal. Is that comfort enough? If not, disguise yourself and make an escape.
Capricorn: It’s not your own hair you’re wanting to tear out. It’s not your own life you’re wanting to see remade. It’s not your own choices you’re finding impossible to live with. But you’re there with a big, red arrow and you can’t pretend you arrived by accident, can you?
Aquarius: Call ’em like you see ’em. But don’t do it where others will overhear. Your analysis is factual, in one sense; and profoundly self-serving in another. If you expose your thinking to the world, you’ll have more than one set of unintended consequences to wrestle with.
Pisces: It’s hard to know you’re not measuring up. It’s hard to feel that you haven’t made the best choices. It’s hard to find no peace, even in your own heart. Sure, this won’t last forever, but it certainly feels like it might. Take a break, smell the flowers, dance in the moonlight.
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Horoscope
Heavenly Round-Up: What color is your parachute? More importantly, will it open when push comes to shove and the ground is hurtling towards you? Check your equipment. Review your plans. Practice your survival procedures. It’s time for a change, but you may find that the change finds you before you find it. Since the world is in the throes of interesting times, there’s no reason for you to be shy about going after what you may really want. If you build it, it will be yours.
Aries: What you wanted and what you have isn’t at all the same thing. Can you live with the difference? Should you have to? Compromise isn’t your strong suit. But if you decide to go for all the gusto you can get, you’ll be giving up on other choices. Reflect.
Taurus: The seeds of the future are being planted right now. The seeds of change may not be easy to discern, but they’re there, all the same. Count on difference. Count on growth. Count on lack of continuity. Once you’re down with those, it’ll be up with everything else.
Gemini: It’s a rough row to hoe, but you’re not out there by yourself. You have your community backing you up all the way. You have your cronies and your organizations and your fraternal gatherings. You have a lot, so stand up and reach out and grab with both hands.
Cancer: Is it the end of the world as you know it? Is it the end of the old and the beginning of the new? Is it time to embrace the future, even if it means shedding the habits and behaviors of the past? You can do it. You have the strength of purpose and the heart to see it through.
Leo: You don’t feel your best, and you don’t feel like you have the best grasp on your resources this minute, but that doesn’t change the exigencies of the situation. So gird up your loins and prepare to bend your back and get your hands dirty. You’ll find what you’re looking for.
Virgo: Once upon a time you thought all you had to do was whatever was in front of you, and that would be enough to prove your valor and your devotion. But now you’re being called on to remake yourself from the foundations on up. Are you ready for some real work?
Libra: Discipline may be the key, but you’re the lock it must turn. And that gives a very special shape to the disciplines in question. Go for the unorthodox. Go for the unusual. Go for a walk on the wild side, so that you understand the difference clearly. Ask a Pisces.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: It isn’t over ’til it’s over. It isn’t over ’til the fat lady sings. It isn’t over ’til you say it’s over. OK, make your mind up and get on with getting on. One way or another you have to move from the spot you’re defending. Let your life speak, loudly.
Sagittarius: You can’t get there from here. But you could get there if you really wanted to by using a route more arduous, more lengthy and more filled with strictures than you usually care to undertake. Will you back away quietly? Will you move on resolutely?
Capricorn: It could be a bigger pain in the parts than it already is. Don’t ask how that would be possible, you might already be in a position to find out sooner than you would choose. You’ve got what you need to defend yourself. You’re gooder-to-go than you know.
Aquarius: Your dreams may become more real than you’d ever imagined. Your nightmares may take form and stalk the world in broad daylight. Or you may simply find that all which passed before is no longer the focus of today. The more Zen your outlook, the better.
Pisces: You’re cranky and you know it. You’re disappointed and you’re not afraid to show it. You’re under pressure and you don’t want to have to feel it. Will you wiggle your way out of it? Will you face it firmly and surprise yourself and others? Ask a Taurus.
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Horoscope
April 16-22, 2009
Heavenly Round-Up: It’s time to make up your mind. It’s time to change your mind. It’s time to choose and reflect on your choices. It’s not time to write a contract. It’s not time to communicate your choices to all and sundry. It’s not time to learn new things; but it is time to review old material. It’s also time to quit struggling and look to meet the reasonable needs of your comfort zone. You are powerful, but you don’t have to be pushy about it.
Aries: Hold still for a second and listen to the quality of your life. Quit wiggling and you may discover what fits you and what doesn’t work at all. Chill out and you’ll even be able to hear yourself think. Reconsider what you’re up to, where you’re at. Think pink.
Taurus: It’s not beyond the realm of possibility, but you have to know that it will take longer than it should and there’s still no point in complaining. Starting sooner would only have brought another range of complexity to the table. Respect your strengths and your potentials.
Gemini: You want to think it’s all about data streams and logic. You have to know how much else is lurking right below the surface and ready to spread it all around in ways neither reasonable nor directable. If you can’t stand the heat, turn down the burners.
Cancer: Pretend you’re a snail. How do you know to make a shell? How do you know to attach it? You just do. Sometimes the answers are that simple. Sometimes you only have to get out of the way of your own natural instincts and proclivities. Work it.
Leo: It’s all about supply and demand. It’s all about quid pro quo. It’s all about learning to think less of your hair and more regarding the details which comprise the big picture. You have the strength and determination. Do you also have the follow through? It’s not easy.
Virgo: Once you get over how unworthy you’ve been feeling, you may find that there’s a better set-up for you to use as your springboard to bigger and better things already in place. You’ll have to use your special x-ray vision to appreciate what you’ve gotten a hold of.
Libra: Down time has been very, very good to you. Now you need to pick yourself up and get on with all the big, and little, things you put on hold. You’ll need to push the pedal to the metal to make up for lost time, but you’re revved and tuned up. Listen closely.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Scorpio: It might be all about you. It might have nothing whatever to do with you. But that doesn’t mean you’re excused from taking a moment to learn the life-lesson at hand. You’ll want to pay close attention to what you see — and what it may mean.
Sagittarius: It isn’t your fault. It isn’t your problem. It isn’t in your nature to turn your back and walk away — even given how annoyed you are and how preventable it was. Extend compassion now to bank your good karma against harder times ahead. Call a Pisces.
Capricorn: You’re at the end of your rope and you don’t care if you continue to hang on or not. Fair’s fair — not that you’re childish enough to expect life to be fair. But you’re having a hard time swallowing the side of propaganda. Even out the odds for human dignity.
Aquarius: You’re good with other people’s resources. You’re good with fine-tuning for maximum return. You’re good with all kinds of things. But you’re not good with sitting back and watching while the unconscionable takes place under your nose. Stand up and be counted.
Pisces: Where have you been for so long? Why don’t you recognize your inner landscape anymore? How has so much happened without even a ripple alerting you to the depth of the shifts? What will you do to represent yourself and your interests? Who else will care?
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Horoscope
April 9-15, 2009
Heavenly Round-Up: You can see farther, but not more clearly. Your range of hearing has increased, but you’re losing the meaning behind the sounds. Your dreams are vivid, but the symbology is obscure. Simultaneously, you want to sharpen the boundaries between you and the world whilst making more authentic connections with the persons who matter most in your life. You could fight yourself to a standstill over the issues at hand, or you could go with the flow. Which of these demands the most of your bravery?
Aries: Are you torn, or only enjoying the self-created drama? Are you challenged, or only having trouble throwing off the slackness of winter? Are you conflicted or only wholly self-involved? Will you get past this and strive for greatness, or would that require too much effort?
Taurus: Let them call you names. Let them leave you out. Let them do what they feel is best, against all your advice. They don’t have the benefit of your point of view. They don’t have your active experience in the matter. Call a Capricorn to get support Sunday.
Gemini: Have you let your life speak? Were you listening when it did? There’s more continuity of karma here than you may wish to admit right away. Take your time; the truth won’t shift just because you’re not in love with it. Try bowling or a drive-in to relax.
Cancer: Determination can take you a far piece down the road to your goals. Determinism can stand in the way of you getting what you want, or others enjoying what they have. You don’t have to be a dog in the manger, though it’s an easy role to play. Reconfigure.
Leo: Most of the worst of the pressure is off you and onto the interval between your vision and its realization. Take a minute to appreciate that it’s not all about you. Take a minute to appreciate all the people without whom you wouldn’t have gotten where you are.
Virgo: Dancing brings out the best in you. Other people’s messes bring out the minatory in you. Turn up the volume while you get down to brass tacks and making right that which went wrong long ago and for no good reason. Your allies will pitch in.
Libra: You want so much for everything to go well. You want so much for everyone to have fun. But the apple of discord has irrevocably been rolled into the midst of the party, and no one’s having too much jollity anymore. Resist the urge to round them all up.
Scorpio: Is it the lilies of the field you envy? They may not do much, but they also never go anywhere. Your spinning and toiling take a toll on your person and your aura, but there’s a hole being filled all the same. Do you need a different focus to get happy?
Sagittarius: It wasn’t a lie when you said it. Don’t let that be pinned to you. It wasn’t a problem when it started, don’t forget this verity. It wasn’t complicated when you set out, don’t let your memory play tricks on you. Decide to spend more of your creativity.
Capricorn: You’ve been planning, and the gods have been disposing differently of your time, resources and availability. You’ve been building, and the materials have taken on a life of their own. You’ve been isolated, and now it’s time to let go of your loneliness.
Aquarius: Certain sensations get in the way of the facts. If both are true, how is this possible? Certain assumptions shift and mutate over time. If this is the case, how can you tell when you’ve achieved your objectives? Certain friends are more hindrance than help.
Pisces: Look around you. There’s so much to do and see and experience. You could pretend to be bored, or even overwhelmed, but it wouldn’t be true. You could really get involved, but then you’d have no easy way back out. How will you make your choice?
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Horoscope
April 2-8, 2009
Heavenly Round-Up: There’s a 100 percent chance of change. Will you be the changer or the change itself? You have free will, up to a point, but if you’re not proactive in your choice the times will sweep you away in vortices and nodes of possibility and potential. Set a course for a vector of inclusive reinvention. Set your sights and goals higher than you ordinarily would — these are ”interesting times” in spades. Call your best buddies in to give you the support required for such a major overhaul.
Aries: It is what it is. You don’t have to like it. In fact, you’re all fed up with what it is. Are you motivated to get up off your seat and make the shift irrevocable? It’s both scary and satisfying. You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. Gosh darn it, you like yourself!
Taurus: Let your life speak, but make sure you don’t doze off while you’re sharing all that information you’ve digested. Let your heart open, but don’t leave it to flap in the breeze. There needs to be a purpose to your decisions and your actions. Use ideology.
Gemini: Call ’em like you see ’em. Call ’em in the air. Call ’em using your limitless minutes. Whatever you do, stay in touch with as many of your people as you can manage. A burden shared is a burden halved, and you could use a little lightening of the load you carry.
Cancer: You were a professional. Now you’re an amateur in the older sense of the word — you actually love the field and all that goes with it. Share your joy, hope and vision with those less engaged. If you bring your whole heart to the table, you’ll overcome.
Leo: Was that where all the wild things were hiding? You’re surprised to see what all fit under the bed, in the closet, between the lines. Can you pick up your courage, reinsert your spine and take up your obligations without a temper tantrum? Try on Sunday.
Virgo: Remember those defining moments, right up until it makes better sense for you to have spot amnesia. It’s more about getting the job done than being correct. It’s more about showing up than knowing the answer. It’s more about compassion than justice.
Libra: You are as you are and you have been for a while. But now you’re noticing the pea under your mattress and you’re not sleeping as soundly as you used to. Now you’re noticing the injustices around you, and you’re not sleeping as soundly as you used to.
Scorpio: Continuity is all well and good. Achieving what you set out to do is a laudable goal. Living life to the fullest according to plan makes good sense. But these are topsy-turvy times. You won’t just have to compromise, you’ll have to change direction altogether.
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CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES TAURUS GEMINI |
CANCER LEO VIRGO LIBRA SCORPIO SAGITTARIUS |
Sagittarius: Will you be a leader, a follower or one who gets out of the way? Will you walk in the path of righteousness? Give yourself over to good works and selfless acts of compassion? Are they mutually exclusive? Is that merely your viewpoint or a fact?
Capricorn: Where the wind blows, information moves around in the plant and animal and mineral worlds alike. The machine age could learn from its biologically oriented predecessors. What will you learn from the past to make the future more tenable? Wear more metal.
Aquarius: You’ve seen farther and done more than you’d anticipated. You have more energy than you thought possible. You’re more ready than you’ve ever been to make a radical modification in your daily life and your philosophical approach. Can you include more elements?
Pisces: Don’t give up. Don’t back down. Don’t let it go. These things matter to you. These matters are of vital importance to many more than you. You’re the flag carrier–at the back of the file. You’re the order giver in the midst of the mob. Use your imagination to work with oxymorons.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
