Metro Weekly

Film

Spring Arts Preview 2010

Spring Arts Intro: Interview with Nicholas Rodriguez Music: Pop, Rock, Folk, Jazz Readings and Lectures Music: Classical, Symphony Art Museums and Galleries Stage Film, Movies, Cinema Dance Above and Beyond: Comedy, Spoken Word, Tastings, Tours, etc.

Release dates subject to change on the whim (or the firing) of a studio executive.

March

Green Zone — The Bourne team of director Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon are back together again. Damon stars as a military man trying to uncover a conspiracy that could put him six feet under. With lots of fighting, bombs, and suspense, we’re surprised it’s not called “The Bourne Zone.” (3/12)

Our Family Wedding — Films like this makes us wonder why we bother to fight for marriage rights in the first place. Playing on the racial differences that flare up when mixed-race couple (America Ferrera and Lance Gross) announce their engagement, the film pits Forest Whitaker and Carlos Mencia against each other. Add in a Viagra-eating goat and you have us running for the exit, not the aisle. (3/12)

Remember Me — Now we know what Emilie de Ravin was doing while her character Claire was MIA on Lost — filming an angst-filled love story with the master of the genre, Robert Pattinson. (3/12)

She’s Out of My League — What happens when the dork lands the prom queen? Hilarity (we hope). Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder) plays a TSA officer who might just get to use his wand on hottie Alice Eve. Given the airport setting, a mad dash through the terminal seems inevitable. Directed by Jim Field Smith. (3/12)

The Bounty Hunter — This set-up seems ridiculous, even for a rom-com: a bounty hunter (Gerard Butler) is hired to bring in his ex-wife (Jennifer Aniston). If Butler still looked like he did in 300, she wouldn’t be running away in the first place. Directed by rom-com regular Andy Tennant (Sweet Home Alabama, Hitch). (3/19)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid — Based on a series of popular books, this comedy examines what it is like to be awkward, bad at sports, and unpopular in middle school. Lived it, don’t need to see it. (3/19)

Repo Men — Set in a future where human organs can be bought on the home shopping network, the Repo Men will harvest your innards back if you can’t make the payment plan. Jude Law has a change of heart when he gets a new one; Forest Whitaker and Liev Schreiber try to capture it. (3/19)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo — Based on Stieg Larsson’s bestselling novel, the film is an extremely well-crafted adaptation that stays loyal to the original text. Rumors of a U.S. remake are floating around, but tracking down this limited release version is well worth the effort. (3/19)

How to Train Your Dragon — In a world where it’s humans vs. dragons, one kid discovers it’s possible to make friends with the fire-breathing foes. If the 3D animation holds up, this could be a cute excuse to take the kids to the movies. Gerard Butler, Jay Baruchel, America Ferrera and Kristen Wiig lend their vocal talents. (3/26)

Hot Tub Time Machine — Four guys find themselves in a hot tub one night and chaos ensues. We thi nk we’ve seen this one already, but we found it in the back room of the video store. In this more mainstream version, the guys are transported back to the ’80s. With John Cusack leading the cast, there had better be a number of self-referential jokes. (3/26)

Greenberg — Ben Stiller is old — as Greenberg at least. A lost soul, Greenberg tries to make sense of his life in this melancholy drama directed by Noah Baumbach. Based on a story by Jennifer Jason Lee, who also stars. (3/26)

Chloe — What do you do if you think your husband is cheating? Set him up to cheat. Julianne Moore plays a distrusting wife who hires a prostitute to entrap her husband (Liam Neeson). Amanda Seyfried is the femme fatale who might just be a little too good at her job of seducing husbands…and wives. Time to lock up your rabbits. (3/26)

The Last Song — An estranged father and daughter reconnect over their love of music. Starring Miley Cyrus and Greg Kinnear, and based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks. Does not sound like a party in the U.S.A. (3/31)

April

Sam Worthington in ''Clash of the Titans''
Sam Worthington in ”Clash of the Titans”

Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too — Tyler Perry, why did you make this movie, too? The married couples who escaped to the snow in the first installment head to the beach for round two of marriage melodrama. Kudos to Perry for making the trailer look like a soap opera. Janet Jackson and Jill Scott return. (4/2)

Clash of the Titans — Ready for some testosterone overload? Riding high off Terminator Salvation and Avatar, Sam Worthington headlines this epic battle between man and the gods (he could fall into either category). Yet another film jumping on the 3D craze. A remake of the Ray Harryhausen classic that starred Harry Hamlin, this version is helmed by Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk). (4/2)

City Island — If family dramas with a comedic bent are your cup of tea, then City Island will make your cup overflow. Andy Garcia stars as a cop who dreams of being an actor, but his family, played by Julianna Margulies and Emily Mortimer, keep him from reaching for the stars. (4/9)

Date Night — When comedic geniuses get together, is there an explosive reaction like a bomb going off or are they like two magnets that repel each other? Tina Fey and Steve Carell play a married couple who get more excitement than they planned for on a date night. Fingers crossed that director Shawn Levy doesn’t repeaNight at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and Just Married. (4/9)

The Runaways — Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning (who also work together in the Twilight Saga films) star in this 1970s girl-band biopic. Playing Joan Jett and Cherie Currie respectively, the pair better bring the rock. Lots of quality ’70s music and fashion are sure to abound. (4/9)

Death at a Funeral — Chris Rock has taken a quirky British black comedy and made it into an American Black comedy. The sociological aspects are enough to make it worth watching. Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan, James Marsden and Zoe Saldana star while Peter Dinklage reprises his role as the “good friend” of the deceased. (4/16)

Kick-Ass — What would happen if the wimpy kid who kept a diary in middle school grew up to be a superhero? He would kick-ass! Comic book loving teens with no superpowers don tights and capes and inspire some vigilante justice in this comedy starring Aaron Johnson, Chloe Moretz, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad‘s McLovin’). (4/16)

The Joneses — The Joneses (Demi Moore and David Duchovny) don’t just seem like the perfect family, they are the perfect family — as designed by big business. Fully outfitted to be living, breathing mannequins for products to sell their neighbors, it’s Amway meets the ultimate in product placement. A comedy that’s also a commentary on mass marketing and societal norms? Sold! (4/16)

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps — Does a sequel to Wall Street seem more timely or greedy? Oliver Stone revisits his world from 1987 in this update with Michael Douglas reprising the role as Gordon Gekko. As the next generation, Shia LaBeouf is the determined upstart who falls for Gekko’s daughter, played by Oscar-nominated Carey Mulligan. We predict a crash. (4/23)

The Losers — Betrayed by their government, this group of specially trained operatives fights back. No, they’re not the A-Team, but they could totally give them a run for their money. Starring Chris Evans, Jason Patric, Zoe Saldana, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Even if they are losers, they’re really hot. (4/23)

The Back-up Plan — Oh J. Lo, you had a couple kids and now you’re making a rom-com about a woman who meets the man of her dreams while having a kid. Method acting? Jennifer Lopez and Alex O’Loughlin (to quote the movie, where have you been all our lives?) star. (4/23)

Furry Vengeance — A developer who wants to tear down the forest to build a shopping mall is the target of animal revenge. The trailer makes us want to recycle… our lunch. (4/30)

A Nightmare on Elm Street — Robert Englund passes Freddy Krueger’s gloves on to Watchmen‘s Jackie Earle Haley as music video director Samuel Bayer replaces Wes Craven behind the camera. While most remakes are nightmares to begin with, claws crossed that this one doesn’t lull us to sleep. (4/30)

May

Iron Man 2 — Please, Jon Favreau, make Iron Man 2 as good as the first. Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow return, though Don Cheadle (thankfully) replaces grim Terrence Howard as Col. Rhodes. Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, and Sam Rockwell join the cast. (5/7)

Robin Hood — Director Ridley Scott takes all the merry out of the men in a new adaptation of Robin Hood. Starring Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett. (5/14)

Letters to Juliet — Amanda Seyfried reads a letter and hopes for love. Wait, didn’t this movie just come out under the title Dear John? Complete with a Taylor Swift soundtrack, this looks tedious and formulaic… and will likely make tons of money. (5/14)

Just Wright — A sports movie starring Paula Patton, Queen Latifah, Pam Grier and someone tall to play the basketball player. (5/14)

I Love You, Phillip Morris — Jim Carrey plays a cop who resorts to con jobs to support his extravagant gay lifestyle, and Ewan McGregor plays his prison-mate and lover. Based on a true story, this could be hysterically wonderful or horribly insulting. It’s going to be interesting to see which way first-time directors Glenn Ficarra and John Requa swing. (5/14)

Shrek Forever After — It’s wise that the marketing campaign for this Shrek installment emphasizes that it’s the last one, because at this point they’re just beating a dead ogre with a stick. At least the 3D aspect is new (to them). (5/21)

MacGruber — Based on a Saturday Night Live skit, let’s hope that MacGruber is funnier than the show is these days. SNL favorites Will Forte, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig are joined by a puffy-faced, ponytail-sporting Val Kilmer. (5/21)

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time — Usually Jake Gyllenhaal alone is enough to incite a rise of excitement, but between the long hair, overused special effects, and cheesy dialogue that fills the trailer, Prince of Persia may be as much fun as getting sand in unpleasant places. (5/28)

June

Marmaduke — Riding on the success of the dog-themed Marley & Me, Owen Wilson voices this humongous dog based on the comic strip. While we love to laugh at pets in those “radar dish” collars, it’s probably not enough to get us off the couch. (6/4)

Get Him to the Greek — One of the best things about Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Russell Brand as rocker Aldous Snow. One of the worst? Jonah Hill as the sycophant waiter. FSM‘s director Nicholas Stoller brings Brand back as Snow, and Hill back as a different character — an intern assigned to get Snow to a show in the U.S. from London. (6/4)

Killers — Can the cuteness of Ashton Kutcher outweigh the annoyingness of Katherine Heigl? Depends if he keeps his shirt off. (6/4)

The Karate Kid — To change this classic, Ralph Macchio is now played by Jaden Smith (son of Will and Jada), who moves with his single mom to China. Replacing Pat “Wax on, Wax Off” Morita, Jackie Chan teaches the loner kid kung fu. (6/11)

The A-Team — Betrayed by their government, this group of specially trained operatives fights back. Yes, they’re the A-Team. Starring A-listers Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Liam Neeson, and Patrick Wilson. (6/11)

Toy Story 3 — Yay, a Pixar movie! Welcome back Buzz, Woody, and Mr. Potato Head! (6/18)

Jonah Hex — Megan Fox, Josh Brolin, and John Malkovich star in this Old West, bounty hunter, voodoo, undead army tale. (6/18)

Grown Ups — Adam Sandler co-writes this comedy about high school friends reuniting years later. Sandler is joined by Maria Bello, Salma Hayek, Steve Buscemi, and Chris Rock. (6/25)

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse — Yes, it’s time for yet another installment in this vampire series. Kristen Stewart’s pout, Robert Pattinson’s angst, and Taylor Lautner’s abs return. (6/30)

July

The Last AirbenderSlumdog Millionaire‘s Dev Patel stars in this adaptation of the Nickelodeon animated series. Hopefully director M. Night Shyamalan can break out of his slump and regain some of his vision from The Sixth Sense. (7/2)

Knight & Day — Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise star in this action comedy about a woman who gets ensnared in a bizarre world by a dashing stranger. Kinda sounds like Katie Holmes and Scientology. Director James Mangold has a strong track record (Walk the Line, 3:10 to Yuma), so let’s hope he doesn’t get derailed. (7/2)

Predators — Nimród Antal directs this next installment of the Predator films in which Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, and Laurence Fishburne are pitted against the alien hunters. I’m not feeling good about Topher’s odds. (7/9)

Despicable Me — In this animated adventure, Steve Carell plays a villain with a big nose. Also features the voices of Jason Segel, Kristen Wiig, and the lovely Julie Andrews. (7/9)

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice — The team responsible for the National Treasure films — Jon Turteltaub and Jerry Bruckheimer — joins with Nicolas Cage again in this story of a sorcerer who takes on an apprentice (Jay Baruchel). With lots of car chases and explosions, this isn’t your Mickey Mouse-variety film. (7/16)

Inception — Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Ellen Page star in this Matrix-like thriller. Directed by The Dark Knight‘s Christopher Nolan, be prepared for lots of things to go boom. Or in reverse. (7/16)

Salt — Who is Salt? She looks a lot like Angelina Jolie in Wanted — a trainer killer who eludes those who want to take her down. But Jolie is good at kicking-ass, so we’re still looking forward to it. (7/23)

Ramona and Beezus — Based on the Beverly Clearly books about Ramona Quimby, this one is a blast from the past. (7/23)

Dinner for Schmucks — Starring Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, and The Hangover‘s Zach Galifianakis, we just hope that we qualify as a schmuck and get an invite too. (7/23)

The Adjustment Bureau — Based on a story by sci-fi master Philip K. Dick, this one’s sure to confound. Features Matt Damon, Emily Blunt and Lost‘s Daniel Dae Kim. (7/30)

Morning Glory — It’s about a struggling morning program. Don’t we see enough of these every day? Stars Harrison Ford, Rachel McAdams, Patrick Wilson and 50 Cent. (7/30)

Beastly — A modern day Beauty and the Beast, starring Neil Patrick Harris and Mary-Kate Olsen respectively. (7/30)

August

Step Up 3D — Kids dancing in the streets. Our friend Catherine is dying to see this. She’s the only one. (8/6)

The Other Guys — If you’re not going to make it to Cop Out before it leaves the theaters, you’ll have another chance to see funny cops in a couple months. This time starring Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell. (8/6)

Eat, Pray, Love — Julia Roberts stars as Elizabeth Gilbert, a woman on a quest to find herself after a bad divorce. Based on a best-selling memoir. Directed by Ryan Murphy (Glee, Nip/Tuck). (8/13)

The Expendables — Stars Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, and Steve Austin. That should tell you everything you need to know about the film. Oh wait, one more critical fact. Stallone directs. (8/13)

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