Horoscope
March 31-April 6, 2011
Heavenly Round-Up: Is it time to separate? Time to dissolve the bonds of union and get on with individuation? Time to go into yourself and reach deep to bring up the germinating seeds of spring? If not now, when? If not you, then to whom shall this task be assigned? You owe it to yourself to try to be the all-fired, super-powered, ultra-condensed best version of you possible. Get in touch with your inner Candide and believe in the optimistic outcomes vectoring infinitely around you.
Aries: You’ve already tried ”not being.” It is time to be. It is time, and the tide is all you could wish for. Take the boat of your soul out upon the waters of your conscious life and begin to fish in earnest for that which will make you complete upon its acquisition. Shop Tuesday.
Taurus: You’re uncharacteristically impatient with known processes. Ought they be revamped and refined? Ought they be reconsidered and reevaluated for effectiveness? Ought you take a deep breath and determine how much irritation is coming from you?
Gemini: Are you eating the bear? Is the bear eating you? Can it be both at once? If so, your ouroborotic dining experience may qualify you for the next level of alchemical self-transformation. Hang on, you’re in for a bumpy ride through the swamps of your unconscious matter.
Cancer: If you walk any more of the talk, you’ll outdistance Mao’s Long March. Certainly that’s the feeling you get when you survey the terrain you’ve already covered in the name of your driving cause. Are you alone out there, or have you intentionally isolated yourself? Ask again.
Leo: It’s not your ego, dummy. Really. You are acting from a highly developed sense of noblesse oblige, which has everything to do with generosity and concern for the greater good, and nothing at all to do with self-aggrandizement. Lighten up and go out Friday night.
Virgo: You’ve been the knight in shining armor again and again. Is all this rescuing helping, or are you hindering the potential for turning struggle into challenge for someone less able than yourself? Be honest, be fair, be consistent. This works on toddlers, dogs and you.
Libra: It’s all about the pace. It’s all about the timing. It’s all about the eye contact. It isn’t all about the fine print. It isn’t all about the near-Talmudic appreciation you’ve developed for the nittiest, pickiest details. It isn’t all about demonstrating logic instead of compassion.
Scorpio: Take a stand. Make yourself intentionally visible. While your usual modus operandi decrees stealth, indirection and anonymity, it really is time to stand up and make your voice heard, be counted. Your more complete vision of the situation is just what the doctor ordered.
Sagittarius: You’re afire with ideas and inspiration. You’re rejuvenated with the potential and possibilities. You’re all that and then some. Whatever you do, don’t overspend. Whatever else you do, don’t get lost on your way to getting better informed. Seek a Pisces.
Capricorn: There’s no end in sight of all there is to do. There’s no relief in sight to lighten your burden. There’s no telling how much longer you can go on like this. But you wouldn’t walk away for all the tea in China, not when you’ve gotten this far. Buck up and keep on.
Aquarius: Moaning and groaning are all well and good if you’re alone. But you’ve got people looking to you for support, let alone answers. Chin up and you’ll do well to take the lead. The longer you leave things in stasis, the harder it will be to get them moving again.
Pisces: You’re as good as that at what you do best. You’re also awesome at any and all acts of empathy. You’re in common cause with anyone trying to build up the dimensions of their soul. You could do worse than consider a career change to take advantage of your skills.
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Horoscope
March 24-30, 2011
Heavenly Round-Up: The doors of perception are banging in the winds of change. You can see more. You can see differently. Are you seeing better? In greater detail? With more clarity? If not, it’s time to change your focus or your prescription. There’s a lot of peripheral activity going on all around. Should you take time to orient yourself, or would you do better to keep your eyes on the business directly in front of you? Have you got a trusted cohort to watch your six? Ask on Sunday.
Aries: Can’t sleep ’cause your head’s on fire? Oh, please. It’s only singed. The sensation of heat all around and within you may be symptomatic of your shifting into the new season. Or it may be the friction caused by so many necessities zinging around inside you. Choose one.
Taurus: You’ve been down this road before, in dream after dream. What is it you’re failing to connect with? Where are you losing your grounding? Find a way to feel the earth between your toes and the universe circling around you in stately order. Reposition your desires.
Gemini: You live in interesting times, but you’re not alone, that’s for sure. Could you rebuild your priority list to take into account recent changes to your various life status conditions? Procrastination is tempting when you’re already overloaded. Try not to go there.
Cancer: What do you want in your heart of hearts, and when did you know you wanted it? There’s a beast chained in your soul and roaring to be fed. Will it become less scary if you try to meet its needs, or will it overwhelm you altogether given sustenance? Be brave.
Leo: This isn’t the end of the road. It isn’t anywhere near as far as you meant to go, as you have the strength to go, as you have the will to go. Therefore, you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, pull your socks up and get on with getting on. You have the technology.
Virgo: Time flies. Really, blink and you might miss the rest of the month. Keep your eyes open and your heart receptive. There’s a lot you want to pack into the next cycle, and you can do all that and more with good time management practices. Go the distance in stripes.
Libra: Whether the weather conforms to your expectations or not, you have a lot you want to do in the great outdoors. Is it worth it to you to invest in the right gear to see you through the vagaries of the day-to-day changes coming your way? You’re still in contention.
Scorpio: Woo-hoo! No one said it would be a smooth ride down that slippery slope. Sure enough, you’ve still got some major bumps and swerves coming your way. At the same time, you like having your skill level challenged. This is the right place, and the right time.
Sagittarius: Looking over your shoulder only tells you where you’ve already been. Looking ahead tells you where you aren’t as of yet. Keep your focus in tight. Right now, you need to know exactly where you are and what you’re doing—every second. Center yourself.
Capricorn: Who knew it had been building up all this time? You were so sure it was all going full steam ahead in the right direction at the correct velocity. Now there are questions on the table and accusations in the air. It wasn’t you, that’s clear. But what was it, exactly?
Aquarius: It’s not what you expected. But who could have expected all of this? Stop moaning about what’s done and gone. This is the new paradigm. This is a new day. Start fresh, leave your preconceptions at the door. You can make lemonade from these lemons.
Pisces: What is that odor? Why is it so distracting to you? Where have you been lately which is so different that you would carry the scent of it as a memento? The test here has to do with resolution and closure. You’ll feel better once you make a decision you can back.
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Horoscope
March 17-23, 2011
Heavenly Round-Up: Is your dogma driving your karma, begorrah? Are you in a state of philosophical confusion compounded by a compulsion to git ‘er done, without any clear idea of what you’re doing or why? Not only are you not alone, we’re all in it together. So pull your socks up, wipe your nose and take a deep breath. You’ll want to focus before you act, as you’ll be more productive under that paradigm than the randomly motivated one with which you’ve been involved. Don’t be bullied! Or tacky!
Aries: You’re all fired up, but you don’t really have any outlet for the supercharge racing through your nerve endings and compounding your state of distraction. Now more than ever, consider taking time to meditate. You’ll also do better putting off purchasing for a month.
Taurus: Look! Up in the air! It’s all those impractical solutions everyone’s been floating around lately! You may have to step up and embrace the role of the underdog to bring reality back to the forefront of the local collective consciousness. Be practical. Start early.
Gemini: You love all the noise and rushing about. You could roll in the many forms stimulation takes in these chaotic times. But you’d contribute more on behalf of others, and complete more on your own dime, if you shut down some of the extraneous inputs. Call early.
Cancer: You’re alive to the big picture, no question. But you’ve got a lot on your plate at present, and you’re in no position to over-commit more than you already have. Will you drop some of your personal stuff? Does any of it back-burner convincingly? Answer before Monday.
Leo: Why is everybody looking at you? You didn’t start it. It wasn’t your fault. You may even have spoken out against it. All the same, you have those natural leadership qualities; people need someone to take charge and lead the way. Don’t wait until the last minute.
Virgo: Neither man nor mouse has the power to keep you from your chosen path. You yourself are the likeliest obstacle just this second. Can you slice through your self-tied Gordian knot to get to the heart of the matter? Do shortcuts usually work for you? Be honest Friday.
Libra: You’ve walked the talk until there are holes in your shoes. You’ve set good examples and places at the table for all and sundry. You’ve come clean until you squeaked when rubbed. Yet you still don’t have the support, answers or commitments you require. Breathe.
Scorpio: Your motto might read, ”I can if I want to.” While it might sound a little juvenile to some, it suits you to a tee. You’re dedicated to the concept of achieving success anywhere you choose to point your determined little soul. So go ahead, make the miracle again!
Sagittarius: You’re not kidding. You’re bringing the truth in all her unvarnished beauty. You’re also making it harder for others to go on pretending through your persistent application of honesty wrapped in candor. Don’t soften your approach – make it firmer soon.
Capricorn: Icons are made, not born (in most instances). Would you be up to the task of re-engineering your own image to make it larger, shinier and ineluctably desirable? You have the skills. You have the focus. Do you have the confidence to rebrand at this stage in the game?
Aquarius: You’re no dummy. You’ve seen the handwriting on the wall. You’re alive to the implications of the new direction the process is taking. You’re no longer in the catbird seat. But you have secret weapons at your disposal, and help from Santa’s elves. Use it wisely!
Pisces: Look. Look again. Look more closely. Now what did you learn from this exercise? Would it pay off to pay closer attention? Would it be worth your while to spend 10 minutes a day honing your ability to be fully present? Practice this skill at unlikely hours, strange places.
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Horoscope
March 3-9, 2011
Heavenly Round-Up: You’ve stared into the mirror of the future and seen only clouds and swirling mists. You’ve meditated for guidance and attained only the cosmic ”om” ringing in your ears. You’ve extended your hands to reach out and anchor the present and grasped only the obvious. Is it time to release your desire to know the ineffable? Is it time to admit your minuteness in the face of eternity? Is it time to develop a fallback position? Create a sound foundation this time.
Aries: Serenity wears many masks. You may not recognize the opportunity to relax and unwind when it appears. Reassess the environment you take for granted. Look with new eyes to see what lies beneath the visible. Give yourself the insight required to find peace before Sunday. Ask Aquarius.
Taurus: Are you still uncertain? Do you still turn in wonder and amazement? You’re running out of free time and necessarily must determine your path and the means to keep you free of distractions until you achieve your goal. You have more aptitude and experience than you know.
Gemini: Is it fun yet? You have been good for so long. You have met, or nearly, your deadlines. You have stayed, mostly, on top of your obligations. You have become, virtually, well-enough organized to take on the challenges you accepted. The hanky drops this week.
Cancer: You’re alight with the possibilities. You’re practically incandescent with information. You’re ready to take up the charge and make the way smooth for the future to be now. You wish you had a better road map, yet you have all you really need. Call when you’re certain.
Leo: Is it a case of seasonal affective disorder? Is it a matter of pride caught in a net of obligation? Is it more complex, yet more simple still, than anyone outside the equation can imagine? You have some small comforts and controls yet left to you. Make a decision soon.
Virgo: The odor of sanctity is confusing your sense of direction. You’re not very good at dealing with the more self-righteous than thou who’ve been turning up lately. Can you refocus your inner perspective to screen them out of your visible spectrum? Dream more deeply.
Libra: Sentience is not all it’s cracked up to be. This is more true when the means for expressing it become over-limited. You can turn the ship of your soul around and make a break for freedom of self-expression. Will it come at the cost of your deepest attachments? Wear aluminum.
Scorpio: You know the dance. You were born knowing it. You’ve forgotten more about it than most people will ever learn in their whole lives. You are the master of technique and the virtuoso of expression. But none of this counts if you won’t get up, get down and boogie.
Sagittarius: Could you be any more certain? Could you feel any more confused? Could you find a way to squeeze yourself into any tighter of a corner? Happily, you are the zodiac’s own Houdini: You will miraculously escape at the last second, with a fabulous flourish!
Capricorn: You haven’t been yourself in the longest while. You haven’t been anyone you’d care to know better, either. Is it time to come home and take up residence in your persona once again? Is it time to ditch the whole matter, and head off in a different direction altogether?
Aquarius: You’re not actually as reluctant as you’ve led people to believe. Sometimes wanting a thing so badly only buggers up the outcome. Now you seem to have convinced everyone of the opposite. Is this more to your advantage? Is this an effective outcome of your strategy?
Pisces: You enjoy the solitude in which you’ve quietly basked all winter. Are you ready to proceed in a new manner? Are you ready to find companionship again? Are you ready to take on the role of confidante and friend? You might be pleasantly surprised on Friday.
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These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
