Cho-Zen
Margaret Cho reaches toward wisdom as she sharpens her edge with moderation
Margaret Cho
(Photo by Austin Young)
MW: Do you have any unrealized dreams? Hoping to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, maybe?
CHO: I don’t know. Maybe something like that. But I don’t do well with altitude.
I think it’s more like mastering at this point. Getting better at things I’ve started, like being a musician or a writer. You just want to excel at it, and that takes a lifetime.
MW: Would your close friends consider you a perfectionist?
CHO: I think so. I try to be. That is something you have to work on, too, because it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s about letting go of it, knowing when it’s done.
MW: That sounds like the sort of advice you might be giving in that “mother superior” role you described. What else do you tell these people looking up to you?
CHO: That if it’s really painful, it’s probably teaching you something. That nothing is easy. If it’s hurting, that’s probably pointing to a bigger lesson.
That’s something that’s always stuck with me: If something is really hard, then it’s always more valuable. It’s the better choice, no matter what it is. I think that’s the best lesson, the best thing I’ve understood. The other one is that the only way out is through. That’s sort of the same thing. Those are the things that I think are really valuable.
MW: Not to take the easy way?
CHO: And that you can’t, really. There is no easy way. And that’s okay. It’s okay that it’s hard. It’s okay that it’s painful. It’s actually fine. Everything is fine. It’s a good thing.
MW: I’m not going translate that to mean you’re a masochist. Or a sadist.
CHO: No! [Laughs.] It’s actually more complicated. In some vast way, it’s much more about, like, if you really put your mind toward something, you really want to go through something, you really have to go through it. You can’t just skate through it or coast through it. You really have to do it.
MW: Do you have mentors of your own who’ve given you guidance?
CHO: There are lots of different ones. Joan Rivers, certainly, is a mentor, a role model, in terms of work and kindness. She’s great. My mother, certainly, and my father. There are lots of different people that I look to. I’m lucky to have them in my life.
MW: You mentioned kindness. I can see that your line of work demands talent and tenacity. I don’t see it demanding kindness. Do you see much of that, though?
CHO: I see a lot of kindness in people who are really successful. I see a lot of it in people I really admire. Yeah, there’s a lot of that. And a lot of generosity, too. There’s more at work than talent and tenacity. In the people you want to be like, to emulate, there’s a lot more there than anybody realizes.
MW: Is there any secret to your own success?
CHO: I just like it. There’s a level of enjoyment. It has to be fulfilling. That’s a feeling I have a lot. I really like it. It doesn’t feel like work, or whatever we perceive as work. It’s really just a genuinely great, fun thing to do.
MW: Even without an audience, like in a studio with just a couple people, you still look like you’re having a good time.
CHO: That’s the fulfillment. That’s what keeps me at it. I just have fun. That’s a major part of it. It’s got to be enjoyable.
MW: You once told me President Obama is a fan. Any chance you’ll drop by the White House while you’re here?
CHO: Maybe. [Laughs.] I’d love to. We’ll see. That would be good.
MW: Before I let you go, I need advice. I’m celebrating my 45th birthday in San Francisco — Pride weekend. I’ve never been there. Any recommendation?
CHO: The best thing might be the Power Exchange. I’ve not been there myself, but it’s supposedly a sex club that’s like five floors and each floor is like a different sexual identity. I bet that would be really good on Pride weekend.
MW: I am planning on booking the tour at The Armory [adult-film studio].
CHO: Oh, God, yeah. I’ve spent a lot of time there. That’s a good one. It’s really amazing. I don’t know how much they show the public on the tours, but you can build these relationships with the people that run it and it’s pretty extraordinary. It’s a little bit much for me. [Laughs.] But if you’re down with it, there’s lots of different stuff. I think it’s a good idea. I think you’re right on track there!
MW: There’s no question your heart’s still in San Francisco?
CHO: For sure! Always. I love it there. I have a lot of friends there, at The Armory and beyond.
MW: Okay, I’m going to drop your name.
CHO: You’ll get in in a big way if you tell them you’re with me, if you tell ’em I sent ya.
MW: Last question, because I know he’s a hero of yours. Harvey Milk stamp — pretty cool?
CHO: Very cool! Very, very cool. It’s a great thing. I’m sure he wants you to lick it.
Margaret Cho brings her Mother tour to the Warner Theatre, 513 13th St. NW, Saturday, Nov. 9, at 8 p.m. Tickets, $26. 50 to $53, are available by calling 202-783-4000 or online at warnertheatredc.com.
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