Kink 101

Scene 2: Gear (rubber, jocks, spandex, singlets, sports equipment)

Person of interest: David Merrill

How did you get started? “I came out of the leather scene. All leather, all the time. Some time in the ’90s, gear started happening and I thought it was great from the very beginning. It’s a whole other approach to kind of a masculine, kinky kind of sexuality. Over time, I think I’ve gotten more into gear, and less into leather. When I was 12 years old, I had a neighbor who was a football player, who I would tie up. And I would punch him until he cried, and then send him home to his father. And he’d come back the next week to do it all over again, so I know he enjoyed it. I didn’t think of it as gear back then. But oh, it was so hot.”

What attracts you to it? “It’s sexual, but it’s not just sexual. Any gay person should be able to relate to it, because it’s similar to being gay. The gay community is not just about being gay. It’s not just about the sex. And it’s the same way with the gear community. It’s not just about the gear. It’s more about a shared experience, shared interests. If you’re talking leather versus gear, it’s pretty much a matter of what you wear, what kind of dress you think is sexy. What the gear guys are doing when they go into the dungeon and play is really not that different from what the leather guys were doing 30 years ago in the dungeon when they played.

“We like to fetishize the old days, and say everything was really rigid and there were all these rules. But that really isn’t how it was. It was pretty much just the same as it is today, except the scene and the community had not developed as much. The scene has broadened — added new things. We still have sirs, we still have boys, we still establish respect and trust as two of our highest values. The kind of clothes we find sexy may change, but people don’t change. They may find different ways of expressing themselves, but it’s still the same underlying motivations, the same needs — sexual and non-sexual.”

How does it work? “The gear is part of the scene. It doesn’t define the scene, it’s not the entire scene, but it is an intrinsic part. So, for instance, I might take a guy. I might put him in football gear, socks, cleats, pads, jockstrap. I might put him in a football helmet. I might have a gag built into the helmet. I might hogtie him. And then he becomes my little plaything. I’m approaching it as a top. So I’m very into bondage. I’m into the gear.

“So my favorite approach is gear, then bondage, then play. So you put a guy into hot gear, tie him up real nice and tight, and have fun with him. Depending on the guy, the fun can be various kinds of things, other than just sex — spanking, toys, gags, butt plugs, tails. It can be as simple as putting a guy in a helmet and a gag and fucking him, or as elaborate as full hockey kit. There’s lots of different approaches.”

What clubs are available for those interested in exploring the scene? “As far as I know, there aren’t any explicitly gear clubs in this area. You have your rubber club, which is more open to gear than your traditional leather clubs usually are. Most of the guys into gear play tend to be younger. They tend to be less likely to be aligned with a club. They’re more likely to be GDIs, as the old guys would call them — ‘God Damn Independents.’ That term comes from back in the days when most guys were expected to affiliate themselves with a club. And GDIs were the guys who refused to. Today, most guys are unaffiliated.

Biggest misconception? “I have no idea. I don’t know if there are that many.”

Scene 3: Puppy Play

Person of interest: Pup Tripp

How did you get started? “I first saw puppy play way back in 2002 at SouthEast LeatherFest (SELF) in Atlanta. It was a leatherman out with his pup — right there at the event, he was leading his pup through. I was introduced to them by my sir at the time. He knew them. At that time that particular sir was very much against it. So I had to wait. It was at MAL 2008 where I first ‘pupped out.'”

What attracts you to it? “After my first experience, it felt so natural. It was neat. When I first saw it, I was really, really intrigued. There was something about the energy in it that drew me in. I can’t tell you how I related to it, I just did. A lot will tell you it’s a form of fetish play. To me pup play is not sexual but actually very spiritual. I’m expressing a very deep part of myself, a very canine part of my personality. And when I get into that zone, and completely let go, that inner pup can pretty much take over. But I’m still human.”

How does it work? “The annual puppy park at MAL — how does one describe a mosh without calling it controlled chaos? That’s where the pups who are interested in doing this — not all pups like to mosh — they’ll get down there and play. Everything from chasing a ball around on the floor, romping around with each other, in a safe and relatively controlled environment. A lot of people will wear custom things where they can move a lot more freely. We do kind of restrict some gear so that people don’t get hurt — like something with spikes. But people will be down there in singlets. Some wear a tail, some don’t. Some wear their hoods. I don’t wear a hood. In my personal experience, if I’m wearing my hood, it’s for show. I don’t go into puppy space if I’ve got my hood on.”

What clubs are available for those interested in exploring the scene? “Right here in DC we have the Mid-Atlantic Kennel Korps (MAKK). I’m actually one of the co-founders. We don’t have regular dates. And it doesn’t cover just D.C. It’s a regional group — D.C., Baltimore, Philly, Pittsburgh, Jersey.

Biggest misconception? “While pup play itself isn’t new — it’s been around for years — the community is actually fairly new, less than a decade old. And it’s not fully understood. It’s defining itself, for one thing. And there’s been a lot of misconceptions about who and what we are. And that’s one of the things that as a title holder [IPC International Puppy 2014] I work towards clearing up. Some people [see it as degrading] — and there was a time when it was. It used to be used as punishment, years ago. And then those crazy people found out we liked it. To me it’d be a reward.”

Scene 4: Ropework/Bondage

Person of interest: Eli Sirra

How did you get started? “I was drawn to it after I saw pictures of guys being tied up. I used to go to Lambda Rising bookstore and check out pictures, like the Tom of Finland drawings. I later took a three-day course in D.C. from Midori, who’s a heavy hitter in the world of rope bondage. I think that once you find out what your kink is, you need to explore it and learn all about it.”

What attracts you to it? “In the pictures or drawings of guys tied up, I would notice how tight the ropes were as the guy struggled against them. They exuded masculinity. As I became more interested in rope bondage, I was attracted to how the rope was tied, even if it was a girl being tied up. It was something that was turning me on, just in terms of pictures. For me, it’s the fact that someone would submit or let me have control over them, a sort of power exchange where I can do whatever I want to them. That makes it erotic.”

How does it work? “Bondage can happen with rope, or tape, or latex — anything. Once the person is bound, you can engage in sex, BDSM, cock-and-ball torture, nipple play, electrical or sensitivity play. Basically, any other kind or fetish can go along with ropework as part of the experience. For me, it’s the icing on the cake. I can do these things without bondage, but once I know I’m playing with rope, it heightens it for me.

“Essentially, you can tie a sub up, or restrain them, and then have them submit to your will. I also learned suspension techniques in rope bondage. That’s where a person gets suspended in air by a teepee or a pulley. It requires a lot of safety precautions and training. But essentially, once you secure the arms and legs, you can run a rope through a person’s harness, and suspend them via a pulley. Then you add in the other elements of bondage.”

What clubs are available for those interested in exploring the scene? “If you look around or online, there are clubs or private parties with demonstrations, where it’s like a class. You invite people to come and show off the different kinks, like using electro devices on a sub. Then, afterwards, you can ask questions of both the dom and the sub. You can also read books about rope bondage.

“In the club, I will often flag that I’m interested in rope bondage with a gray handkerchief in my left pocket. If they’re interested in being a sub, they will wear one on the right-hand side. That’s another way you can show interest.”

Biggest misconception? “I think the biggest misconception is that people think that you are just tying them up, and that’s it — that there’s nothing in addition to it. I think some people also think that ropework has to be done pretty, like entirely symmetrical or neat. But that’s not the case. For me, it’s just the fact that the person is bonded. It’s about the struggle against being tied that makes it erotic.”