Charge your phone with a little self-love
“I’m just charging my phone!”
Guys, we finally have a reason not to be embarrassed when we’re caught with our pants down. Pornhub, provider of content for many males’ daily (and/or nightly) routine, has created a genius device which offers justification for why you can’t keep your hand out of your boxers.
The Wankband, as it’s subtly known, contains a valve with a ball inside that generates and stores electricity when subjected to repeated, vertical motion. Once you’ve depleted your energy reserves — and filled the Wankband’s — connect your smartphone or tablet via USB and let the juice flow.
No longer will you have to worry about running out of battery, or panic when you’re away from your charger. Boost your phone in the bedroom, on your couch, sitting in the bath, in your office restroom, at your parent’s house, on an airplane, while stuck in traffic, or in a park. With the Wankband, extra battery life is only a few pleasurable minutes away.
So, next time you find yourself interrupted in the middle of a (potentially) sticky situation, just remember: you’re only trying to charge your phone!
In all seriousness, this is an actual device. Seriously. It exists. Pornhub is currently accepting Be(a)ta testers (geddit?!?) for the Wankband — if that sounds like something you’d like to help with, then head here (surprisingly, Safe For Work).
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