The Top 10 Alternative Christmas Songs
Ten Christmas songs that stoke the season in unexpected ways
6. “Merry Xmas (Says Your Text Message)” by Dragonette
Singing/sneering “Xmas” deliberately (as in “ex-boyfriend”), Canadian outfit Dragonette’s scornful Christmas cheer remains one of modern pop’s biggest “should have been a hit” casualties. Although finally finding a breakthrough hit single with their Martin Solveig collaboration “Hello”, Dragonette have so far failed to catapult beyond being internet cult favourites. It is perhaps for this reason that their very best songs feel extra special, with the bittersweet “Merry Xmas” in particular relying on such under-the-radar status to sneak in an expletive as the main chorus kiss-off. A line that would get past the censors would be this one: “To the boy with a big lump of coal now, I guess you know where I think it should go now.” Dragonette aren’t bitter, however — they’re brilliant.
5. “Not Tonight Santa” by Girls Aloud
Girls Aloud was a post-Bananarama, post-Spice Girls British girl-band who found success in Great Britain, but would sadly remain a footnote as far as the rest of the world is concerned. That a song of this caliber would remain an album track is both a testament to the embarrassment of riches of their bolder material and the restrictions of their record company seemingly trying to second-guess what safer material they should release, instead, to ensure a hit single. With its bouncing momentum, the giddy “Not Tonight Santa” is a surge of Phil Spector-style pop abandon not successfully recreated so hysterically since Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. It’s loud, uncontrollable and hectic, like running down the stairs on Christmas morning as a kid.
4. “Santa Please” by Toni Braxton
The idea of a Toni Braxton Christmas song may not have whetted everyone’s appetites, but those familiar with her work will know this lady’s standards are far higher than the majority of her peers. Not falling far from the “Let It Flow” tree, this is a sultry ribbon untier if ever there was one. While much of the material on her holiday album Snowflakes doesn’t scream classic, this is a rich and subtle gem.
3. “I Was Born On Christmas Day” by Saint Etienne
The artfully whimsical pop-nostalgia geeks Saint Etienne opted for propulsive Eurodisco beats to soundtrack their wonderfully outdated Christmas song, which also serves as a look back on the particular year that had passed at the time of its release. Joined by Indie music poster boy Tim Burgess, Sarah Cracknell’s candy-floss vocals coo and pout beyond her limitations. If her voice were any lighter it would evaporate, which is what makes it so magical, and the Saint Etienne fanworld as a whole so arresting.
2. “Wonderful Dreams” by Melanie Thornton
Whether people are familiar with her work as frontwoman of Eurodance group La Bouche (the Hi-NRG classics “Be My Lover” and “In Your Life” among many more), most will instantly recognise this as the jingle from the Coca Cola advert. Sadly, Thornton tragically died in a plane crash, so never got to see the longevity her most famous track would enjoy.
1. “All I Want For Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey
As if this song wasn’t going to be featured. Quite possibly the best song ever recorded (whether you’ve had 5 glasses of mulled wine too many or not). Mariah’s everlasting, world-awakening vocals are an avalanche of octaves. She was in her vintage prime when this came out – although the world would be a grim place without Mariah’s “MTV Cribs” episode, or her mental episodes involving handing out lollipops to slightly terrified teenagers on MTV’s “TRL”, it would be an even greater one if she were still capable of singing to full capacity as she did on this, a song no one (including herself as of 2001) is capable of replicating.
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