It just so happened I finished up this season of House of Cards — D.C.’s not-even-guilty bingeing pleasure of choice — at the same time results came in for the Super Tuesday primaries. Watching two funhouse mirror versions of American democracy unfold simultaneously — television character Frank Underwood and television character Donald Trump — just reinforced my distaste for both.
To start with the fictional, I realize I’m supposed to hate the Underwoods, while also thrilling to their villainy. And that was a lot of fun for a while. Then the show rushed Frank Underwood into the Oval Office, leaving behind the batshit byzantine plots of the Washington elite for dealings with a second-rate Putin and something involving China that even the shows writers can’t explain.
So when this season kicked off with a fallen reporter providing narration for his cell mate’s jackoff session, I was already halfway to the door. I would have made it out had it not been for friends telling me, Oh, just wait, it gets so much better! No, actually, it doesn’t. Somewhere around the time the show began telegraphing an assassination attempt and minor character death with a lack of subtlety surprising even for House of Cards, I moved directly into the hate-watch camp.
It’s not the show’s lack of connection to reality that bothers me, although “ludicrous” doesn’t even begin to describe its depiction of the American political system, the writers’ understanding of which seems to have come from skimming a few months worth of Politico articles. It’s not even watching the cringe-inducing cameos by prominent journalists, although it does reinforce why cable news should be about the last place one would go to be a well-informed citizen these days. (Why, Gwen Ifill, why? You’re supposed to be the best of us!)
What it comes down to is a show that is fundamentally stupid — filled with fabulous actors and wicked one liners, but still stupid — working so hard to appear smart. This pretentious nonsense is why you end up with the two evil geniuses putting together a complicated plot that involves allowing an Iraqi terror leader to speak with potentially murderous kidnappers yet neglect to have even one Arabic speaker in the room. Or the baldly nihilistic ending that exploits American victims of terror as nakedly as 24 ever did but with even less nuance.
Which brings us to Trump: a campaign that is fundamentally stupid — filled with compelling characters and wicked one liners, but still stupid — working so hard to appear smart. Part of the fascination of watching the Trump roadshow is how closely it tracks with what we would traditionally consider political satire: dismissing the egghead elites and proposing ludicrously simplistic solutions to every problem (building a wall, registering all Muslims, solving every international problem by making deals faster than Monty Hall). Trump gives his audience scapegoats — blacks, Mexicans, Muslims — because Trump is about looking outward for excuses, never inward for understanding.
But what Trump and House of Cards really have in common is hate and anger about our political system. For Trump voters, that anger is directed toward anyone but themselves: at the politicians who’ve abandoned them, the minorities who’ve taken their jobs, the gays who’ve stripped away their values. It’s a hate directed at others, constantly looking to blame.
For House of Cards fans, particularly the feverish ones populating Washington, it’s simply self hatred — thrilling to a show that treats its audience as complicit in a failed, corrupt system. It’s why journalists clamor for cameos on a show that presents journalists as corrupt or inept or captives of the system. It’s why politicians and staffers live for a show that claims there are no principles, only power. It’s a collective probing of an open wound. Yes, you can read too much into a simple show about political corruption, but given the self-seriousness of both the narrative and its creators, I’m inclined to take the show at its word.
Trump or Underwood, fantasy or fiction, right or left — it’s hard to see how any of this ends other than badly.
Donald Trump has nominated Brian Burch, president of the political advocacy group Catholic Vote, and a fierce critic of Pope Francis, as the next U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican.
"Brian is a devout Catholic, a father of nine, and president of Catholic Vote," Trump wrote in announcing the nomination. "He represented me well during the last Election, having garnered more Catholic votes than any Presidential Candidate in History! Brian loves his Church and the United States -- He will make us all proud."
A socially conservative political activist who regularly pushes right-wing propaganda, Burch has been especially critical of the pontiff's more liberal ideological leanings (within the context of the Catholic Church) and his more conciliatory approach towards LGBTQ congregants.
Apple CEO Tim Cook will personally donate $1 million to President-elect Trump's inaugural committee, according to Axios.
Cook, who is gay, joins several other tech CEOs who have contributed to Trump's inaugural fund, including Sam Altman, the gay CEO of the artificial intelligence company OpenAI, who is similarly donating $1 million of his personal fortune to the fund.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg are also donating $1 million, but through their respective companies.
Cook believes the presidential inauguration is an important American tradition and is donating in the spirit of unity. His contribution is allegedly supposed to signal that he is not partisan, as he has demonstrated that he believes in engaging with elected officials from both major political parties. Apple itself is not expected to contribute.
Meta's Mark Zuckerberg has reportedly ordered the removal of tampons from men's bathrooms at the company's offices in California, New York, and Texas.
The tampons, initially included in men's bathrooms to cater to transgender or nonbinary employees who use such facilities, are one example of a deluge of virtue-signaling moves taken by Meta to placate conservatives as President-elect Donald Trump prepares to take office.
Last week, CEO Zuckerberg announced that Meta would eliminate its third-party fact-checking system and replace it with a user-based "Community Notes" feature similar to the model employed by X.
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