Shawn Mendes: I feel the need to “prove” I’m not gay
Singer says constant speculation over his sexuality is causing him anxiety and stress
Shawn Mendes has revealed that constant speculation over his sexuality has left him feeling the need to “prove to people” that he isn’t gay.
The “Stitches” and “In My Blood” singer spoke to Rolling Stone about the constant tweets, comments, and memes regarding his sexuality, and said that he has considered staging photos of him with women to end the suspicions.
āIn the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone — like a girl — in public, to prove to people that Iām not gay,ā the 20-year-old said. āEven though in my heart I know that itās not a bad thing. Thereās still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.ā
Mendes said that the stress and anxiety of the constant scrutiny — including people creating videos focusing on his mannerisms, speech, and gestures — had led him to rewatch his interviews and analyze his own voice and body language.
āIād like to say I donāt care about it,” he said of the attention on his personal life, “but thatās not true.”
He also referenced a Snapchat video he posted last year addressing his sexuality. Mendes said he’d been scrolling through a number of YouTube comments about his sexuality and ultimately reached breaking point.
āI noticed a lot of people were saying I gave them a āgay vibe,āā Mendes said in the video. “First of all, Iām not gay. Second of all, it shouldnāt make a difference if I was or wasnāt.”
But he told Rolling StoneĀ there was an additional element to his response — that if he had actually been gay, the pressure and scrutiny would have made it even harder to admit it.
“I thought, āYou fucking guys are so lucky Iām not actually gay and terrified of coming out,āā he said. āThatās something that kills people. Thatās how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if Iām gay?ā
Ultimately, the video only heightened the speculation, and Mendes said the anxiety caused him to second guess other aspects of his life, including a social media post from Taylor Swift.
While backstage during her Reputation tour, Mendes let Swift put glittery eye makeup on him, and then said she could post the video to her social media — something he later regretted.
“I felt sick,ā he said. āI was like, āFuck, why did I let her post that?ā I just fed the fire that Iām terrified of.ā
Ultimately, he came to terms with it, saying he’d grown up with 15 female cousins, who had braided his hair and painted his nails when he was younger.
“Maybe I am a little more feminine,” he said, “but thatās the way it is. Thatās why I am me.ā
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