Postmates, the food delivery service providing customers with restaurant-prepared meals, has produced a video in time for Pride Month touting its new “bottom-friendly menu” in select cities.
The adorably animated commercial, featuring a harness-clad eggplant as a “top,” and jockstrap-wearing peaches “bottoms,” shows the pair looking at various foods, some of which are not ideal if one is preparing to engage in anal sex at some point after consumption.
“If you’re a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want,” Rob Anderson intones as the eggplant wolfs down a taco and three peaches gaze at a melting bowl of ice cubes and sigh. “But if you’re a bottom, you’re expected to starve? Not this Pride!”
To guide would-be bottoms to the right foods that will wreak less havoc on their digestive system, Postmates has partnered with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Future Method/Bespoke Surgical, to develop “Eat with Pride,” a bottom-friendly menu that can be ordered from local restaurants in Los Angeles and New York.
Customers in those two cities with the Postmates app can peruse popular restaurants that provide prepared meals that make it easier to get intimate later.
Restaurants on the list include Prince Street Pizza, Tender Greens, Dialog Cafe, Toccata, Ggiata, Alfred Coffee, H2O Sushi & Izakaya, Octopus Restaurant, and Beatnic.
As the commercial notes, people seeking to bottom are recommended to stay away from whole grains, wheat bran, cauliflower, potatoes, and legumes, which don’t easily dissolve in water.
Bottoms are also recommended to avoid highly processed foods and dairy, which is represented in the video by two half-cupcakes looking over a spilled milkshake, with one saying, “I cannot handle lactose right now! Look at her!”
Anderson then notes, “If you’re going to eat something insoluble, give your body about 24 hours to process all of it.”
Foods recommended for bottoming include soluble fibers and protein, including fish, peas, citrus, white rice, and nuts, with Postmates noting that sushi is considered a bottom-friendly food as well.
The Postmates commercial was conceptualized by a team of LGBTQ employees and launched with the rollout of the bottom-friendly menus on Thursday, June 9.
As part of the initiative, Postmates has made a donation to The Okra Project, a mutual aid collective providing meals and support to Black transgender, nonbinary and gender-nonconforming individuals.
“There’s no right or wrong way to bottom,” the commercial concludes. “But if you’re planning on getting ‘peachy’ this Pride, the bottom-friendly menu on Postmates has the kinds of foods that can keep you feeling good.”
Republicans in the U.S. House of Representatives have adopted a new rules package that allows a proposed transgender sports ban to be fast-tracked and voted on without a chance to offer amendments.
Under the text of the rules package, 12 bills that Republican lawmakers have long prioritized -- primarily having to do with immigration, anti-abortion measures, and fracking -- are to be voted upon "as read."
Among those is a measure to "amend the Education Amendments of 1972 to provide that for purposes of determining compliance with Title IX of such Act in athletics, sex shall be recognized based solely on a person’s reproductive biology and genetics at birth."
Just as it did four years ago, the Trump administration has removed nearly all mentions of LGBTQ identity and HIV from the White House website.
Moreover, searches for "lesbian," "gay," and "bisexual" result in an executive order from President Donald Trump reversing various executive orders issued by former President Joe Biden.
A search for "transgender" brings up the same order, as well as a separate order effectively erasing gender identity from law and requiring the federal government to only recognize a person's assigned sex at birth on identity documents, government surveys, and to receive any government benefits.
Putting the v-a-i-n in vanity project, writer-director Steve Balderson's Sex Love Venice might set records for solipsism in a queer indie protagonist, a category with an epic list of contenders.
But the film's hero Michael (David Bateman), lovelorn in L.A., takes the cake among gay movie leads whose entire world is presented as a series of interactions centered solely around him and his search for romance.
To friends Liza (Suzanna Akins) and Dave (Zaramok Bachok), Michael expresses his frustration with his life of casual hookups, revealed in flash-cuts to frank nude scenes, usually depicting a lack of enjoyment in one party or the other.
These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet it’s crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So won’t you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each week’s magazine (and an archive), access to our Member's Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!
You must be logged in to post a comment.