Should LGBTQ People Disengage From Trump-Loving Families?
A psychologist has suggested that LGBTQ people upset by Donald Trump's win distance themselves from Trump-supporting family members.
A Yale psychiatrist suggested during a recent media appearance that LGBTQ people — and people from other groups who may be negatively impacted by policies pushed by a future Donald Trump administration — have no obligation to engage with family members who supported the president-elect.
Appearing on MSNBC The ReidOut, Dr. Amanda Calhoun, a psychiatry resident at Yale Child Study Center and Yale School of Medicine, spoke with host Joy Reid about how communities who feel attacked by Trump’s rhetoric or policies should cope with their post-election feelings of despair and fear about the future.
Many LGBTQ advocates, especially transgender people — as well as women and racial or ethnic minorities — have argued that a vote for Trump is an act of “violence” against the marginalized communities he targets with his inflammatory statements.
Reid asked Calhoun how women, LGBTQ people, and other groups should approach the holiday season if they have to interact with family members or acquaintances who are Trump supporters.
“Do you recommend, just from a psychological standpoint, being around them?” Reid asked.
“So I’m glad you asked this question,” Calhoun said, “because there is a push — I think, a societal norm — that, if somebody is your family, that they are entitled to your time. And I think the answer is absolutely not.”
Calhoun continued, “If you are going into a situation where you have family members, where you have close friends, who you know have voted in ways that are against you, like what you said, that are against your livelihood…it’s completely fine to not be around those people and to tell them why. You know, to say, ‘I have a problem with the way that you voted, because it went against my very livelihood, and I’m not going to be around you this holiday. I need to take some space for me.’ … If you feel like you need to establish boundaries with people, whether they’re your family or not, I think you should very much feel entitled to do so. And I think it may be essential for your mental health.”
Right-wing social media users were furious over Calhoun’s remarks, accusing MSNBC of dividing families and sowing discord.
“In other words, if you suffer from [Trump Derangement Syndrome], it’s okay to isolate yourself and further alienate yourself from those who care most about you,” wrote X user Matt the Muller. “@YalePsych should consider yanking the license of this psychiatrist — Dr. Amanda Calhoun — for malpractice.”
“This is utterly despicable advice from Dr. Amanda Calhoun,” wrote X user J.Alexander. “@Yale university should be ashamed of allowing their institution to be linked with this woman. Main stream media has allowed the weaponization of information and opinion AGAINST the very community they claim to want to protect. The disenfranchised, underrepresented pockets of society. These people need love and support now more than ever and your advice is let politics drive you into isolation!? THIS IS DISGUSTING every adult involved should be ashamed of themselves.”
Other X users suggested that Calhoun’s advice be taken in stride, suggesting that they don’t wish to be associated with family members who hold liberal political beliefs.
“They think we want to see them? This does us a favor by isolating the zealots. We don’t need them…they need us,” wrote Bolo Sabon.
“Good idea. None of us want the mentally ill relations at our parties anyway,” wrote James Michael Pratt.
“Hilariously, what she advocates is for the trash taking itself out. Yes please don’t [come] to our holiday parties. Please remove yourselves from our lives. We are fedup with you and your problems and your drama and your delusions and your power trips. Go die in a hole all alone by yourself,” wrote lawlfare.
Many LGBTQ people have reported that they suffer from mental health problems as a result of hostility and anti-LGBTQ legislation.
A study published in the journal Nature Human Behavior in September found that anti-transgender laws have a direct, causal relationship to youth suicide attempts, which have increased by as much as 72% following the passage of anti-LGBTQ laws.
Following Trump’s victory, The Trevor Project, a national LGBTQ suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization, reported that it had seen a nearly 700% increase in calls, texts, and chats, compared to previous weeks, from youth feeling despondent, depressed, or suicidal due to concerns about what a Trump presidency may mean for them.
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