Birthdaying and Post-Break-Fasting at the Diner
The always-hopping Palm of Gay D.C., the 18th & U Duplex Diner, was the scene of a host of parties last Saturday night, Sept. 22, and Hearsay was there to hiccup its way through the evening. The night kicked off with a private event for Rex “Not My Porn Name” Varner‘s 40th birthday, given by his boyfriend Tom “My Toast Had Everyone” Balling. Hearsay wasn’t supposed to be there, but it hid beneath a table and watched from below, developing a foot fetish in the process. It thought it spied the wingtip of Larry “Please Pass the Toilet Paper” Craig, but realized that certain telltale scuff marks were in the wrong spot. At precisely 11:32 p.m., Duplex proprietor Eric “I Will Personally Pickle Your Herring” Hirshfield and his hunky-dory staff lowered the drawbridge to the public to celebrate the Diner’s ranking on Out Magazine’s 50 Best List. It was at this point, Hearsay felt it could emerge from its secret spot and hit the bar, which it did as a horde of birthday boys suddenly swarmed the Diner. Celebrating yet another year of shameless, hedonistic existence were Greg “Always” Smiley, Lawrence “Sweetie I Now Live in Seattle” Yanovitch, Scott “Consuela” Foster, Steve “Post Poste Party” Culbertson, Jeff “Flashdance” Larivee and Justin “Damn, I Already Came!” Cummings. Things got even wilder when the Awesome ’80s Prom Party hosted by Horatio “Blanche” Oliveira and someone named after an Ivy League College at the nearby home of Tim “I Hope the Floor Doesn’t Cave-in” Isgitt broke up and headed over for late night libations. A handful of customers manned the makeshift iPod DJ set-up including Jeff “No, I Won’t Play Umbrella Again” Aldridge, Kamran “Pump up the Jam” Naim and Kris “Bringing Back the ’80s” Nelson. Hearsay suggests they don’t quit their day jobs anytime soon. Also celebrating this same night after their Yom Kippur Breakfast Dinner were Wes “I Got Straight (I Mean Gay) A’s in Hebrew School” Combs, Gary “Hell Yeah, I Fasted! I Fasted Faster than Anyone’s Ever Fasted Before!” Seiden, and Marvin & Dan, freshly cleansed of their sins, who schlepped all the way from Baltimore for a bagel and a shmear and a sliver — “just a sliver, we’re watching our sodium intake” — of lox. It was a happy new year for all….
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