Robert York: Hitting the big 4-0
Robert ”Drag Gets The Best of Me” York was also at Be Bar to revel in Amanda Lepore’s nipplegate. Hearsay got a kick out of seeing the soft-spoken, former Capital Pride director fawn all over Miss Lepore, whom he says he’s been a fan of for years, but definitely not all of his years — his many, many, many, many, MANY years. Mr. York just celebrated a milestone, you see, and he invited all his friends and then some to toast him the night prior, Feb. 23, at Town for — what else? — drag shows and dancing. Oh, and Harris Teeter cupcakes. The event was organized by Blake ”Tickle Me Elmo” Macon, who organized the entire ”BIG 4-0” birthday bash. Hearsay was, no surprise, more in the mood for a York roast. But good luck finding a good one in this crowd. ”Who doesn’t love Robert?” replied Jayme ”Why Me?” Pittsonberger, when asked for a roast. ”He’s done so much for the community,” a refrain echoed by everyone Hearsay approached. Why yes, in fact, he has. Hearsay still remembers the time when Robert, still then in his 30s, donned a red-rhinestone tux, plopped to his knees before the entire Gay Men’s Chorus and shouted “Men, your batons please!” What happened next is in the secret GLBTQYIPUZ history book maintained by the Rainbow-Brite Historical Society, which holds its secret meetings under the bed of Mark “Sure, It Sometimes Itches” Meinke.
Truly, the only person who came close to a roast was, bless her cholesterol-filled heart, Lena ”Ask Me Anything” Lett. Lett recounted the time she first met Mr. York, in the years before man discovered fire, after a night of Woolly Mammoth hunting on 17th Street. At the time, she was more than three times the size she is now and she was trying to scarf down her eighteen filet-io-fish sandwiches at McPterodactyl’s in one mighty bite. (She succeeded.) York, who is drawn to drag queens like a supermagnet is to steel, marched right up to Miss Lena and told her she should audition to perform at Ziegfeld’s, which for those of you too young to remember, was a bar where men would dress as women and play a dancing game known as snatch as many dollars as you can and then run to the nearest wig shop. In any case, she took him up on his suggestion and a legend was born, albeit one unaccompanied by a messy, goopy placenta, or as Hearsay likes to call it, Le Mambo Anchovy. So here’s an idea: Maybe Lett should return the favor and reel York in. You know, have him perform at Town? York says he doesn’t do drag — ”I leave that to the professionals.” Sure you do, Robert, sure you do. Hearsay offers evidence otherwise….
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