Joe Jonas Puts a (Purity) Ring on It
Just when Hearsay thought it was done with “Single Ladies,” and had seen all the possible spoofs featuring men in tights imitating Beyonce — after all, it’s been 8 months since the song became ubiquitous — here comes a Jonas Brother to act the fool. “I’m not that kind of girl!” Joe “Please Tweeze My Eyebrows” Jonas lip-synchs — and the line is one of the few he even bothers to mime, so focused is Josephina on the half-assed wiggling of his hips. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear li’l Joe was drunk.
There are two things Hearsay learned from watching this video:
Joe has powerful big thighs. Why some might even call them mighty.
Joe has the all the grace of an Ipswich Clam, leading Hearsay to definitively claim once and for all that there is no possible way he’s one of them there homo-sex-uals. Let’s face it, no gay boy — closeted or out — dances that clumsily, even on purpose. Joe seems bereft of rhythm, altogether, a hallmark of pure straightness.
The whole shenanigan is all meant as a tease for the Jonas Brothers’ forthcoming new album, Adenoidal Whine. And talk about a tease… “Don’t click here or Joe will fall down! OMG!” Well, don’t click on that teaser text — Joe doesn’t fall down. Rather, the link whisks us to a Kanye “Wild Wild” West video. Several other pop ups do the same thing throughout the video. And just when you thought Mr. West couldn’t get any more shameless….
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