Metro Weekly

Film

  • Freak Show

    By on October 21, 2009

    As the vampire-version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Willow liked to say, ''Bored now.'' Maybe that's not completely true for every minute of Cirque du...

  • Ungrateful Dead

    By on September 30, 2009

    I'm gonna live forever. Baby remember my name.... In a cutthroat world where luck is just as important as skill, only a few survive. And...

  • Punctuation's Mark!

    By on September 16, 2009

    Isn't it nice when filmmakers are so excited about the final product that they add an exclamation point to the title? The Informant! It's about...

  • Ball Bearings

    By on September 2, 2009

    Schlemiel, schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated. We’re going to do it....While many who troop to see Mike Judge’s Extract might be too young to remember the opening...

  • Numbed by Nazis

    By on August 19, 2009

    One hundred and forty minutes is an awful lot of foreplay for a 10-minute payoff. Yet that’s what Quentin Tarantino is requiring of audiences who...

  • Alienation

    By on August 12, 2009

    Some stories hinge on a dramatic juncture in human history. Some are guided by a need to delve into the intricacies of relationships and emotions....

  • Cook's Country

    By on August 5, 2009

    If there’s a secret ingredient, you can bet it’s butter. Butter makes everything better. And there is absolutely no substitute for it in cooking. Using...

  • Leukemia Laughs

    By on July 29, 2009

    Though it happens all the time in movies or in sitcoms, I’ve never actually known someone to make a deal with a cabbie that the...

  • F**k Buddies

    By on July 22, 2009

    Humpday is a movie more awkward and squirm-inducing than Brüno. Who would have thought it possible, let alone come so soon on the heels of...

  • Hormonal Harry

    By on July 15, 2009

    Hogwarts homework assignment: Re-watch (or re-read) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If you don’t, you’re going to be utterly lost because there...

  • Gay Puree

    By on July 8, 2009

    Brüno is like anal bleaching: You can't believe anyone would actually do it, the thought of it makes you cringe, and you're happy that it's...

  • Guns and Roses

    By on July 1, 2009

    Why do we always go for the bad boys? Is it the thrill of danger, the excitement of living on the edge, or simply that...

  • Life's Lessons

    By on June 24, 2009

    Life is made up of little lessons that, when strung together, form a whole that allows us to see the larger truth. The same can...

  • The Morning After

    By on June 3, 2009

    Haven't we all had a hangover that hits in the morning like a ton of bricks being dropped on your head one at a time?...

  • Hell Raiser

    By on May 27, 2009

    Recipe: Add one tablespoon of spittle from an old hag, three blond hairs from one young woman (preferable beautiful), and one fly with wings still...