In August, you complained
that the stores were breaking out their Christmas consumables way too early,
but here we are two weeks from the big day and you haven't even decked your
halls yet. Where's your gay apparel? It's time to fulfill that magical
tradition that we've held sacred since Frank W. Woolworth discovered he could
make a quick buck selling cheap glass balls affixed with a large, bent
paperclip. It's tree trimming time, and we've got just the ornaments to help
you properly accessorize your sparkling evergreen.